Perfect Partners Sitcom Ist 10 pages Page 3

I think it's great. The idea is focused, if that makes any sense. I mean most of us are floundering around trying to figure out what our plots are, whereas your logline is totally clear.

Just one question, what the hell does hench mean?

Quote: Leevil @ May 26, 2007, 2:37 PM

OK, finally got around to reading it, but not the other comments, so I'll apologise if I repeat.

I liked it, it read well, although it felt slightly over written.

The characters were well defined, although Griffin, being a robot didn't feel human, which I'm not sure, is that a good thing?

It kind of reminded me of Ugly Betty or at least what I've seen from the trailers and pilot I watched. But don't let that worry you as it's only the initial impression, like comparing Cheers to Time Gentleman Please.

I enjoyed it though and think you are a talented writer and look forward to seeing your horror screenplays come to light. (Horror being a favourite genre of mine.)

I don't think you have a sitcom here, not in the traditional sense anyway, but definitely a comedy drama. I hope you didn't have Red Dwarf style in mind.

I think for people to relate she would definitely need to develop some sort of human relationship and I hope she does, maybe that's your intended hook?

But anyway, overall, thoroughly enjoyed it, well done.

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Hi Leevil, I`m glad you liked it & thanks for your comments

I haven`t watched Ugly Betty yet, so I`ll have a look.

Yeah, I`m at home with horror. It`s where I started & I love it too.

Tbh, I wasn`t planning a sitcom in the traditional sense, but it will develop, along with Sissy & Griffin`s relationship.

Hi there Gav & David... & David, I think it`s what Gav thinks!

Hi there JohnnyD. Wow! Thanks for that

I`m really pleased you enjoyed it Zooo & good luck with your work too

Hench is street slang for strong, big, with a well-defined muscular physique.

Oh right - a hair dryer. I should have guessed.

Hi Jude, I liked it, but not enough laughs in it for me. I haven't read all the other posts but agree with the guy who fancied Sissy. I think it's a shame she wears fake glasses though. I'd rather have her in real glasses, blind as a bat without them. She's gorgeous with them on, right? Ah, women in glasses....

Also meant to say. liked the premise.

Thanks for your comments Steve by any other name and pleased you liked it

Quote: Godot Taxis @ May 25, 2007, 4:45 PM

even monster successes like Life on Mars, Mighty Boosh, Red Dwarf would not get in through the front door (writersoom). That is, of course, only my opinion.

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Totally agree, Godot. Sadly, the evidence points to the WR being there to keep unsolicited subs out of harm's way rather than an agency to promote. Best strategy is multiple avenues and independent producers.

Thanks for the advice Slag A

Just getting this to the top of the list ... looking forward to reading it! :-)

Quote: Frankie Rage @ July 7, 2007, 6:26 PM

Just getting this to the top of the list ... looking forward to reading it! :-)

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Arrghhh, Frankie... we were trying to bury it... so it didn't show us up!

Thanks Frankie, hope you enjoy it

Quote: Darren Goldsmith @ July 7, 2007, 6:41 PM

Arrghhh, Frankie... we were trying to bury it... so it didn't show us up!

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Oooooooooooooh! Darren - that wasn't nice!

Yes I did like it... but I want to read it again! I can't quite put my finger on what I want to say about it! (Nothing bad, OK!!!)
More later...
Frankie xxx

Quote: Frankie Rage @ July 7, 2007, 10:26 PM

Yes I did like it... but I want to read it again! I can't quite put my finger on what I want to say about it! (Nothing bad, OK!!!)
More later...
Frankie xxx

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That's Jude's stuff for you! Always fascinating - always intriguing!

I thought it was a bit like Hyperdrive and the one Rob Brydon did in Oz, with Ugly Betty thrown in along with the gay director from Extras.

Certainly too much direction. That needs to be short and sweet otherwise it reads like a book and is a real turn-off.

Not sure how many more episodes you could get from this as I thought the first two sitcoms I mentioned were poor with no legs. I'm afraid I didn't laugh either and although somebody said the first ten pages don't have to be funny, it all has to be funny or else the audience are going to turn over.

Sitcoms with the sex scenes you described I would imagine are pretty rare too. CH4 or CH5 maybe, but to be honest it looks more like a B movie.