Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:50 PM GMTIt only feels good because that's what has been indoctrinated into us from birth. If you consider times before mass supply-and-demand, being polite and courteous meant that your neighbour caught the cattle and you went hungry. You had be selfish in order to survive. Self-preservation in its purest form.
Not neccesarily. Co-operation is a huge survival tool.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:50 PM GMTI'm getting confused with who thought what.
I think I'm saying that it's not an inherent 'goodness' to be good, but a evolved behaviour to help manintain the status quo.
S'alright, I edited. You were too fast with your typing fingers.
Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:50 PM GMTIt only feels good because that's what has been indoctrinated into us from birth. If you consider times before mass supply-and-demand, being polite and courteous meant that your neighbour caught the cattle and you went hungry. You had be selfish in order to survive. Self-preservation in its purest form.
I get what you're saying but... I've forgotten what you said religion has to do with this.
If anything.
Quote: Curt @ December 15 2008, 6:48 PM GMTIs that a quote in the book of Zooo? Sounds pretty quotable.
No; I expect she'll have a go at me about it.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:48 PM GMTBut aren't humans, when they do this instictively, no different to say a community of chimps who behave in this way in order to keep the community running with a minimum of trouble - not because they're good-hearted?
Selfishness is a fundamental part of being human. It's what drives us for everything we do. Trouble is people only see this as negative, some kind of attack, and become offended by the thought, but it's a very good thing as well as a bad thing.
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:48 PM GMTWell that would suggest the first point wasn't true wouldn't it.
Theereeeeee we go.
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 6:51 PM GMTMaybe I was. But as I said I tried.
It only takes one wrong person for relationships not to work - no wonder not many last! 
Don't give up.
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 6:53 PM GMTSelfishness is a fundamental part of being human. It's what drives us for everything we do. Trouble is people only see this as negative, some kind of attack, and become offended by the thought, but it's a very good thing as well as a bad thing.
I don't agree. You can be very happy from being selfless. Ask any mother.
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:50 PM GMTWhich totally proves you were with the wrong person.
Not really. It could just be her who's never happy?
But this is my point anyway. As I said there are way too many wrong people, that's the bulk of the problem.
*edit*
Ah. Well, keep looking, tiger.
No thank you!
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 6:50 PM GMTWell that's just the problem. There are waaaaay too many 'wrong people'.
You'll find someone. If I can, so will you.
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 6:51 PM GMTMaybe I was. But as I said I tried.
If you're with the wrong person, then you're with the wrong person. No amount of trying will help.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:30 PM GMTWhy does it work for some people though?
My marriage works well.. but only because of an underlying friendship and a huge ammount of effort put in by both of us.. that's the truth! Marriages ain't made in heaven.. !!! If a marriage works well with no effort then that must be pure luck I would think.
Fx
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 6:56 PM GMTNo thank you!
Well, as I've said before. You can borrow Aaron.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:56 PM GMTIt only takes one wrong person for relationships not to work - no wonder not many last!
Again, exactly my point! I would love to find proper reciprocal love and a 'soul mate' as it were.
I don't agree. You can be very happy from being selfless. Ask any mother.
Well, in my view selflessness is an illusion. Everything is at it's core motivated by selfishness. But again, the negative semantics of this word make it awkward to use without getting people's backs up.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:51 PM GMTNot neccesarily. Co-operation is a huge survival tool.
Co-operation is borne from necessity to survive. Ultimately it's still down to ... thing. What I was saying.
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 7:03 PM GMTWell, in my view selflessness is an illusion. Everything is at it's core motivated by selfishness. But again, the negative semantics of this word make it awkward to use without getting people's backs up.
I get this. You are helping people to make yourself feel good, or 'cos you'd feel worse if you didn't help them. I'm not sure if this is true or not, the important thing is that it's not morally wrong to help someone out of such selfishness.
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:52 PM GMTI get what you're saying but... I've forgotten what you said religion has to do with this.
If anything.
That religion promotes being nice. It didn't invent it. It's not the only teacher of such common-good principles. But ultimately that's what it comes down to. All of the God, Jesus, whateverelseinyourreligionofchoice is a vehicle to carry the message.
A woman I know is looking for Mr Right, trouble is she is Ms. Wrong..
