Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:40 PM GMTYou were with the wrong person!
Or you're the wrong person. Sometimes we have to look at ourselves too and see what we have to offer (or not).
After you've pegged it... Page 12
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:30 PM GMTOh. Well I've always thought they *were* natural and instinctive.
Maybe I'm wrong.
If they were, then people with illnesses related to mental and social development would be far easier to hang around with.
And babies wouldn't scream and be so demanding either.
Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:38 PM GMTIt's the paedo beard that does it.
Hmm. I just mean general being nice to each other and do as you would be done by. That's how 95% of people are naturally.
I'm sure partly because that's how we are brought up to act in this society, butttt, it feels good to be nice, it doesn't feel good to be selfish all the time. So doesn't that make it natural?
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:42 PM GMTOr you're the wrong person. Sometimes we have to look at ourselves too and see what we have to offer (or not).
Perhaps. But maybe two sides of the same coin.
And I have nothing to offer, but still seem to have found someone who likes me.
Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:47 PM GMTPerhaps. But maybe two sides of the same coin.
And I have nothing to offer, but still seem to have found someone who likes me.
Is that a quote in the book of Zooo? Sounds pretty quotable.
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:45 PM GMTHmm. I just mean general being nice to each other and do as you would be done by. That's how 95% of people are naturally.
I'm sure partly because that's how we are brought up to act in this society, butttt, it feels good to be nice, it doesn't feel good to be selfish all the time. So doesn't that make it natural?
But aren't humans, when they do this instictively, no different to say a community of chimps who behave in this way in order to keep the community running with a minimum of trouble - not because they're good-hearted?
Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:47 PM GMTAnd I have nothing to offer, but still seem to have found someone who likes me.
Well that would suggest the first point wasn't true wouldn't it. 
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:38 PM GMTMmm. I'm not so sure. I just think that a lot of people are increasingly selfish and cannot live in a couple. Aoart from the initial attraction and compatibility it does require some effort, compromise, realism and sacrifice. I just think lots of people cannot do that in order to make a relationship last.
I wish it was that simple. I really tried hard to make my relationship work but I couldn't do anything right. Honest to God I'm not just saying that I really did. It's a bit complicated to go through everthing in detail, but I reached the point of just giving up because I didn't know what else to do.
It actually frightens me now when I think just how much of a different person I was at that time because I changed myself so much. Why should I have had to do that? I'm not a bad person. Why go for me in the first place if my personality was so far from perfect?
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:48 PM GMTBut aren't humans, when they do this instictively, no different to say a community of chimps who behave in this way in order to keep the community running with a minimum of trouble - not because they're good-hearted?
Yes.
And they don't have religion either.
Quote: Aaron @ December 15 2008, 6:40 PM GMTYou were with the wrong person!
Well that's just the problem. There are waaaaay too many 'wrong people'.
Quote: Moonstone @ December 15 2008, 6:49 PM GMTI wish it was that simple. I really tried hard to make my relationship work but I couldn't do anything right. Honest to God I'm not just saying that I really did. It's a bit complicated to go through everthing in detail, but I reached the point of just giving up because I didn't know what else to do.
It actually frightens me now when I think just how much of a different person I was at that time because I changed myself so much. Why should I have had to do that? I'm not a bad person. Why go for me in the first place if my personality was so far from perfect?
Which totally proves you were with the wrong person.
*edit*
Ah. Well, keep looking, tiger. 
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:45 PM GMTHmm. I just mean general being nice to each other and do as you would be done by. That's how 95% of people are naturally.
I'm sure partly because that's how we are brought up to act in this society, butttt, it feels good to be nice, it doesn't feel good to be selfish all the time. So doesn't that make it natural?
It only feels good because that's what has been indoctrinated into us from birth. If you consider times before mass supply-and-demand, being polite and courteous meant that your neighbour caught the cattle and you went hungry. You had be selfish in order to survive. Self-preservation in its purest form.
Quote: zooo @ December 15 2008, 6:48 PM GMTWell that would suggest the first point wasn't true wouldn't it.
I'm getting confused with who thought what. 
I think I'm saying that it's not an inherent 'goodness' to be good, but a evolved behaviour to help manintain the status quo.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ December 15 2008, 6:42 PM GMTOr you're the wrong person. Sometimes we have to look at ourselves too and see what we have to offer (or not).
Maybe I was. But as I said I tried.