British Comedy Guide

Weird things you have read about. Page 33

UK doctors have expressed considerable concerns about the growing trend for heavy wooden and ornamental toilet seats after a number of male toddlers were admitted with crush injuries to their penises.

Writing in the December issue of BJU International, Dr Joe Philip and his colleagues at Leighton Hospital, Crewe, report on four boys under the age of four, who were admitted with injuries serious enough to require an overnight stay. "As Christmas approaches many families will be visiting relatives and friends and their recently toilet trained toddlers will be keen to show how grown up they are by going to the toilet on their own" he says.

"It is important that parents check out the toilet seats in advance, not to mention the ones they have in their own homes, and accompany their children if necessary. "A recent market research report has suggested that there has been a worldwide increase in the number of wooden and ceramic toilet seats sold. We would not be surprised to hear that other colleagues have noticed an increase in penis crush injuries as a result of this."

The four boys, aged from two to four, all attended as urological emergencies. All had been recently toilet trained and they were using the toilet on their own.

They had lifted the toilet seats, which had then fallen back down, crushing their penises. Three had a build up of fluid in their foreskin, but were still able to pass urine, and the fourth had glanular tenderness.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/132665.php

Quote: DaButt @ December 12 2008, 2:29 AM GMT

For Aaron:

LOS ANGELES - They serve fast food, but they're slow learners.

Four months after a Burger King employee lost his job for taking a bubble bath in a restaurant sink, three scantily clad teens were fired when they turned a basin at their northern California KFC into their personal hot tub.

They landed in hot water with the chicken chain's management when one of the bikini-clad dimwits made the same mistake as the Ohio Burger King employee - she posted photos of the dippy escapade on MySpace.

The photos included captions such as "haha KFC showers!" and "haha we turned on the jets," and were filed under a gallery called "KFC moments," according to the Record Searchlight newspaper in Redding, Calif.

http://tinyurl.com/5kpdtj

How the flipping Norah does one do that in a sink?! Are they super-large for industrial usage or something?

Just saw that story on the BBC News site. Mind-boggling.

Quote: DaButt @ December 12 2008, 4:51 AM GMT

They had lifted the toilet seats, which had then fallen back down, crushing their penises. Three had a build up of fluid in their foreskin, but were still able to pass urine, and the fourth had glanular tenderness.

Teary :S Does not sound fun.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?Meet_the_Kung_Fu_Squirrels&in_article_id=440501&in_page_id=34

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?Miracle_as_boy_survives_after_arrow_shot_through_his_skull&in_article_id=441885&in_page_id=34

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Man_says_slap_me_with_a_salmon&in_article_id=440893&in_page_id=2&in_a_source=

"You're not likely to find any retards in Russia who'll pay Superfone for the use of emoticons."

Laughing out loud

LOL! I wish we'd get quotes like that from politicians! Cut through the crap!

Quote: Aaron @ December 12 2008, 12:30 PM GMT

How the flipping Norah does one do that in a sink?! Are they super-large for industrial usage or something?

Just saw that story on the BBC News site. Mind-boggling.

They must be homunculi. Huh?

Quote: DaButt @ December 12 2008, 4:51 AM GMT

UK doctors have expressed considerable concerns about the growing trend for heavy wooden and ornamental toilet seats after a number of male toddlers were admitted with crush injuries to their penises.

Writing in the December issue of BJU International, Dr Joe Philip and his colleagues at Leighton Hospital, Crewe, report on four boys under the age of four, who were admitted with injuries serious enough to require an overnight stay. "As Christmas approaches many families will be visiting relatives and friends and their recently toilet trained toddlers will be keen to show how grown up they are by going to the toilet on their own" he says.

"It is important that parents check out the toilet seats in advance, not to mention the ones they have in their own homes, and accompany their children if necessary. "A recent market research report has suggested that there has been a worldwide increase in the number of wooden and ceramic toilet seats sold. We would not be surprised to hear that other colleagues have noticed an increase in penis crush injuries as a result of this."

The four boys, aged from two to four, all attended as urological emergencies. All had been recently toilet trained and they were using the toilet on their own.

They had lifted the toilet seats, which had then fallen back down, crushing their penises. Three had a build up of fluid in their foreskin, but were still able to pass urine, and the fourth had glanular tenderness.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/132665.php

Almost like a Guillotine for penises. Too scary :O

Quote: Moonstone @ December 13 2008, 12:44 PM GMT

LOL! I wish we'd get quotes like that from politicians! Cut through the crap!

Prezunctly! :D

Michigan cops help couple break the chains of love

Thursday, December 11, 2008

(12-11) 17:52 PST Dearborn, Mich. (AP) --

If you love something, set it free. And if you can't, call the police. The Detroit Free Press reports police in suburban Detroit responded to a call Thursday by a man who handcuffed his wife to their bed but misplaced the key.

Dearborn police used a universal key to free the woman.

Sgt. Ray Patrick calls the situation "more of an intimate relationship than an unlawful imprisonment."

___

Information from: Detroit Free Press, www.freep.com

Aw. It's like that Stephen King book, only, totally different...

Quote: Dr Mato @ December 13 2008, 8:50 PM GMT

Dearborn police used a universal key to free the woman.

Ohhh, I would like one of those.

ELLSWORTH — A 7-year-old Blue Hill boy who was unhappy with his name called 911 Saturday and then hung up.

Hancock County Sheriff's Deputy Chris Thornton checked on the residence and learned the boy was displeased about the "uncool" name his mother had given him, the officer said.

The boy wants to change his name to Jack.

"I told him a name change isn't really an emergency," Thornton said. "But as you know, a 7-year-old's emergencies are extremely subjective."

Indeed, a 911 call came in several months ago from another child, also 7, whose mother had eaten the last strawberry Pop Tart, the deputy said.

http://ellsworthmaine.com/site/index.php/Latest/Boy-7-Calls-911-Says-His-Name-Is-Lame.html

Aw.

Stupid, but cute.

Of course in a year or two, not cute anymore. Just f**king annoying.

I was going to ask if the sell Pop Tarts in the UK, but Wikipedia says 'yes.'

Yes indeedy.

I sometimes like the strawberry ones with the white frosting stuff on the top.

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