The Four Blur Members (Sketch)

Tried something topical. (reunion of Blur) Not usually very good at topical sketches, but would be grateful if you could let me know what you think. Cheers.

DAMON ALBARN, ALEX JAMES, DAVID ROWNTREE AND GRAHAM COXON ARE TALKING ABOUT THEIR REUNION (BLUR).

Damon: Ah, who would of thought that in 2008, we would be sitting around this very table eating the finest cheese and talking about the reunion of Blur.

Alex: I know. We would of been grateful with just a greatest hits compilation.

Graham: Yes. Or just a collection of our, 'not so good songs', on a CD.

Alex: Aye. I mean we'd be happy with a CD with no tracks on it.

Damon: We would! As long as it had our photo and names on cover.

Alex: I mean I'd be happy with just my initials on it! And I'd have my face hidden behind a mask.

Graham: You would?

Alex: Aye!

Graham: Well, I'd be happy with just my finger print on the front. I mean all I wanted in our 'break' was just that buzz of getting a CD of some sort in the shops.

Damon: Shops?

Graham: Aye.

Damon: I'd be happy to see it on a shelf in a brothel.

Alex: A brothel full of people?

Damon: Yes.

Alex: I'd be happy to see it on the floor of a brothel that was occupied by the odd sheep.

Graham: A sheep with ears?

Alex: Of course.

Graham: I'd be happy if it was on the roof of a closed down brothel, that was home to a deaf sheep and a mentally ill pigeon.

Damon: Well...

David: So hang on? You lot would be happy to have a CD, with no songs on it, with just our initials and fingerprints on it and the only place you could get it, is in a closed down brothel that is occupied by a deaf sheep and a ill pigeon?

Graham, Alex, Damon (unison): Aye!

David: Wow!

Graham: What?

David: What a bunch of tits!

Alex: What do you mean?

David: Well I want sex, drugs, and money.

Damon: Sex?

Alex: Drugs?

Graham: Money?

Damon: Were too old for that now! Us ageing rock stars want peace and quiet. But do they believe us?

Alex and Graham: No.

David: (DISBELIEF) This isn't what I wanted! I'm joining Oasis.

DAVID WALKS OUT.

END.

It doesn't really work for me, I'm afraid. I don't think it's clear what the central idea of the sketch is and as a result I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be laughing at.

Is it the Pythonesque oneupmanship of the band members demonstrating how little they care about the reunion (your use of "Aye" in the dialogue suggests something northern), or the fact that they are getting too old for the rock lifestyle (not sure that's the most valid target)?

I think you need to make it clear what you want to say and what your target is and focus on that, cutting out the stuff that confuses the issue.

Personally I think your best idea comes in the final few lines with David walking out. Maybe you could have -

Damon: Were too old for that now! Us ageing rock stars want peace and quiet. But do they believe us?

Alex and Graham: No.

David: (DISBELIEF) This isn't what I wanted! This reunion is over - I'm out.

DAVID WALKS OUT. THE REMAINING THREE LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

Damon: Who was that?

Alex: I have absolutely no idea.

END

The lead-up to this point would probably have to focus on the success in different fields the others three have had since the split so the sketch's core idea becomes about the band member nobody really remembers, not even his band mates.

Sorry for rambling - hope it's helpful.

Bo.