Tramp

SC1. A STREET - DAY

A TRAMP IS SITTING PROPPED AGAINST A WALL. MATTED HAIR AND LONG DIRTY BEARD. A MAN APPROACHES HIM

TRAMP:
Gawd bless you guv'nor. What about a few pence for a cuppa for an old soldier?

MAN:
Why don't you get a job you grubby dirty man instead of dossing around here and hassling everybody?

TRAMP:
You're a Conservative aren't you?

MAN:
Why yes I am! As a matter of fact I'm the prospective parliamentary candidate for this constituency. But how did you know?

TRAMP:
Oh it's just a guess really.

END

There's some strange stuff going on here tonight!

I liked it Blenk. A lot.
You have a great way of producing 'real life' dialogue.
Dave is pissed by the way. Had a bottle of wine all to himself. I can hear him hiccup from here. Take no notice of the drunken whore.

Burp!

Thanks Charley you say the nicesest things.

David, how dare you burp before Charley. Where were you dragged up?

Quote: Blenkinsop @ July 4, 2007, 8:05 PM

SC1. A STREET - DAY

A TRAMP IS SITTING PROPPED AGAINST A WALL. MATTED HAIR AND LONG DIRTY BEARD. A MAN APPROACHES HIM

TRAMP:
Gawd bless you guv'nor. What about a few pence for a cuppa for an old soldier?

MAN:
Why don't you get a job you grubby dirty man instead of dossing around here and hassling everybody?

TRAMP:
You're a Conservative aren't you?

MAN:
Why yes I am! As a matter of fact I'm the prospective parliamentary candidate for this constituency. But how did you know?

TRAMP:
Oh it's just a guess really.

END

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Snappy stuff. Well played

Thanks Socknose

I liked it too.

Lost on me

This reminds me of a true story that started like this sketch:

SlagB had a tramp outside McDonalds ask him for cash, when SlagB told him to get lost (like the guy in this sketch) the tramp ran after him and kicked him hard in the arse. SlagB grabbed the tramp and banged his head against the McDonalds window. The tramp looked at him and said "Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" It was meant to be evil menacing threat but came out as a high-pitched wheeze. Having never seen the film the reference was completely lost on SlagB.

People gathered 'round but guess who got the public sympathy vote, the arse-kicking tramp.

If it was me the tramp had picked on, the tramp would now be wearing my pants, trousers and T-shirt. Where's the justice?

Hey SlagA too cryptic for me!

I'm getting the Batman reference but as they say in Fr Ted, what the feck????

Am I being dim?

No, sorry, it was a true story of one of our trips to London. Apologies. Looking back it does seem to splurge onto the thread a bit.

Ah thank goodness for that. I thought I was missing something there.

But hey ho, that's bloody tramps for you - you never know when one of them is going to turn out to be a film-buff with a line in rather different quasi-intellectual patter.

When walking past a fondly loved hobo, he shouted at me,
"Any change mate? Any change"
I said "yes, I've had a hair cut - thanks for noticing."
I then took it up a level and asked for his opinion, asking whether he preferred me before with longer hair or now with my shorter hair. He said,
"You with shorter hair"
So it turns out beggars can be choosers.
However I wasn't too happy with my haircut so I kicked him in face. But then I am bit hobophobic.

* Please forgive me Paul Kerensa *

Quote: Greg Sammons @ July 8, 2007, 5:27 PM

When walking past a fondly loved hobo, he shouted at me,
"Any change mate? Any change"
I said "yes, I've had a hair cut - thanks for noticing."
I then took it up a level and asked for his opinion, asking whether he preferred me before with longer hair or now with my shorter hair. He said,
"You with shorter hair"
So it turns out beggars can be choosers.
However I wasn't too happy with my haircut so I kicked him in face. But then I am bit hobophobic.

* Please forgive me Paul Kerensa *

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Ha ha ha!