British Comedy Guide

The worst neighbour you've ever had? Page 3

Did not have any massive problems with neighbours in various apartments I have lived in. But I've lived in dorms for several years... and uh.. well. Suffice to say, it was quite wild.
Our next door neighbour used to invite her boyfriend for weekend. She was shy nice girl... but nobody had told her sex was not about shouting at the top of her lungs.
Apparently, as soon as the guy was "in"... she started screaming, rhythmically, wailing Aah-aah-aah! for some five minutes or so. And at the end a loud bass of a man 'huh-huh-huh!' joined in.

Dorms are usually very silent during weekends, and the sound carried through the whole third floor.

My and my wife-to-be always a had a ciggie afterwards. We felt we deserved it :)

5 minutes! Fair play to him.

5 minutes is nothing to shout about. Unimpressed

Quote: Little Jersey Devil @ December 5 2008, 10:12 PM GMT

5 minutes is nothing to shout about. Unimpressed

You've been spoiled.

Quote: Daddy Maz @ December 5 2008, 12:42 PM GMT

I once had the joy of living inbetween an epilectic prostitute (who was found dead in her bath)

Flipping Norah. Any idea what happened?

the one now that i'm just about to go and kick their door down and smash up their f**king drum kit!

Quote: bighead65 @ December 7 2008, 10:42 PM GMT

the one now that i'm just about to go and kick their door down and smash up their f**king drum kit!

Hate to break up an already tense moment, but please see point 9.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/info/terms_of_use.shtml#BoardRules

explain you lost me?

You're not capitalising your first letter of your posts.

Or your "i"s.

Oh dear I do apologise, i get so excited talking to people i forget,am I in trouble?

And me.

Anyhoo when I was first dating the spawn of Satan (my ex) my future in-laws place became available for a week as they went on holiday. So we moved in. After a week of mediocre sex I left.

The next time I slept there I respectfully slept on the settee as her parents were big chapel people and would have disapproved of us f**king like bunnies. However what neither my future wife or I considered was mad Mrs Watkins next door. This is how it played....

I wake up on the settee to horrendous shouting outside the window. Mrs Watkins.
'I know what your doing! Your f**king f**king f**king! F**king disgusting. I saw you go in! I f**king saw you . You f**king whore you f**king whore. You're a whore. I know your name I know your name. Your a whore. Your name is Derek you f**king rapist. They've gone and f**ked off you f**king whore.'

My ex's brother's name is Derek not mine just to add a little incest twist there. Happy days.

Thanks for that, I feel educated now.

Quote: bighead65 @ December 7 2008, 11:15 PM GMT

Oh dear I do apologise, i get so excited talking to people i forget,am I in trouble?

Not quite. Yet. ;)

Just do try and capitalise correctly. And punctuation and that, but you seem to be alright there! It just makes things infinitely easier to read for everyone else, and generally prettier and neater throughout the site. :)

Quote: roscoff @ December 7 2008, 11:15 PM GMT

And me.

Anyhoo when I was first dating the spawn of Satan (my ex) my future in-laws place became available for a week as they went on holiday. So we moved in. After a week of mediocre sex I left.

The next time I slept there I respectfully slept on the settee as her parents were big chapel people and would have disapproved of us f**king like bunnies. However what neither my future wife or I considered was mad Mrs Watkins next door. This is how it played....

I wake up on the settee to horrendous shouting outside the window. Mrs Watkins.
'I know what your doing! Your f**king f**king f**king! F**king disgusting. I saw you go in! I f**king saw you . You f**king whore you f**king whore. You're a whore. I know your name I know your name. Your a whore. Your name is Derek you f**king rapist. They've gone and f**ked off you f**king whore.'

My ex's brother's name is Derek not mine just to add a little incest twist there. Happy days.

What the fliparoonie?

Quote: Aaron @ December 7 2008, 11:21 PM GMT

Not quite. Yet. ;)

Just do try and capitalise correctly. And punctuation and that, but you seem to be alright there! It just makes things infinitely easier to read for everyone else, and generally prettier and neater throughout the site. :)

If you don't follow the rules Aaron will come and shit in your shoes. True. It happened to me. No shit. I mean yes shit.

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