British Comedy Guide

I did the crime but not the time. Page 2

What did you steal, Matt? Panini stickers?

Quote: Ben @ December 4 2008, 4:10 PM GMT

What did you steal, Matt? Panini stickers?

Oh yes, football stickers, wrestling stickers, sweets, books, all sorts of stuff. I was a light fingered young lad, but so pleasant that nobody suspected a thing! Aha!

I once did something so excruciatingly embarrassing that I can't possibly tell you what it was. But it landed me behind bars for a whole day. Apart from that I've been a very good boy.

Oh there was one time a lot of years ago that I saw two drunk guys following a blind lady and throwing stones at her guide dog. I saw red and hit them both, knocking one of them out. But I was young and an idiot then.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 4 2008, 4:11 PM GMT

Oh yes, football stickers, wrestling stickers, sweets, books, all sorts of stuff. I was a light fingered young lad, but so pleasant that nobody suspected a thing! Aha!

Did you ever steal anyones heart?

Quote: Ben @ December 4 2008, 4:13 PM GMT

Did you ever steal anyones heart?

With this face?

Though I dis swipe some lovehearts once, I seem to remember.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 4 2008, 4:15 PM GMT

Though I dis swipe some lovehearts once, I seem to remember.

I like writing my own lewd messages on the back of them and handing them round to the girls at work.

Quote: Ben @ December 4 2008, 4:17 PM GMT

I like writing my own lewd messages on the back of them and handing them round to the girls at work.

You cad!

Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 4 2008, 4:18 PM GMT

You cad!

Ben: Hey! I saved you a loveheart.

Ben hands a loveheart to office girl.

Office Girl: Aww! You're so sweet, Ben and.... WHAT?! WITH A MELON?!

ENDS

Quote: Ben @ December 4 2008, 4:21 PM GMT

Ben: Hey! I saved you a loveheart.

Ben hands a loveheart to office girl.

Office Girl: Aww! You're so sweet, Ben and.... WHAT?! WITH A MELON?!

ENDS

Mm; smoooooth . . . .

Quote: Ben @ December 4 2008, 4:21 PM GMT

Ben: Hey! I saved you a loveheart.

Ben hands a loveheart to office girl.

Office Girl: Aww! You're so sweet, Ben and.... WHAT?! WITH A MELON?!

ENDS

Oh my!!!

Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 4 2008, 4:07 PM GMT

I've certainly swiped stuff from shops when I was a kid; and never once got caught! Go me?

So do you feel any guilt about Woolworths closing down?

Quote: Dr Mato @ December 4 2008, 2:17 PM GMT

Have you ever committed a criminal act that could land you in the cage of bars?

Oh please share!

I blew up some outhouses with my brother at age 10 and quit school with falsified documents at age 11. :D

In my adulthood I knifed out some tires of a washichu thieving mad crazed hunter so the officials could catch him and played innocent to the tire damage. I also drove a car with no tags, no windows and little breaks two hours to get to another county because I wanted to get the hell out of where I was. I parked it in a shop lot, the owner of the car laughed when I called to tell of what I did and lied to the officials for me.Angelic

That is about all I am willing to share for now.

Oh and yes MarcP I am barking mad.

Back from the pub. Barking whilst driving as far as I can tell!

Quote: Nil Putters @ December 4 2008, 4:05 PM GMT

Were you a member of The A-Team?

Yes. Nobody ever remembers that the A stood for Afinkawan.

I forget to mention this yesterday, but I did a lot of shoplifting as a kid. Mainly Star Wars figures. My most impressive feat was to nick a Hoth Wampa. My mom could never understand how I managed to have so much Star Wars merchandise on so little pocket money.

Quote: Ned1984 @ December 5 2008, 12:24 AM GMT

So do you feel any guilt about Woolworths closing down?

I did actually steal a book from there once as a kid, how did you know? Do you have psychic abilities?!

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