Does this work?
A MAN (JAMES) WALKS INTO HIS DOCTORS.
Doctor: Ah James! You're here for the results I presume?
James: Er... yeah.
Doctor: (PICKS UP PAPER) The results are..... Arsenal 2 - Manchester City 4. Bolton Wanderers 0 - Liver...
James: I'm not here for the football results.
Doctor: Oh I see. I do apologise. Who do you support though?
James: Everton. But I don't see what that's got to do with this. Can I have the test results please?
Doctor: Of course. Ah, it's bad news I'm afraid.
James: Really?
Doctor: Yeah, India have beaten England by 19 runs.
James: For heavens sake! Will you just give me my results!
Doctor: Right, I'll give it to you straight.
James: Good.
Doctor: Like a man.
James: Great.
Doctor: You have 6 months to live.
James: Bloody hell!
Doctor: Good news is though. You won't have to see Everton get relegated.