British Comedy Guide

118 118 Need Jokes Page 8

Submit it's better than many of my efforts.

Which WAG jumps around at Marylin Manson concerts?

Mosh Beckham.

My wife has just had a baby and we've decided to call it Quits.

Quote: David Bussell @ November 21 2008, 12:09 PM GMT

It felt weird but I still wrote it:

What's yellow and moves in high society? Banana Trump.

Worth a punt

What do you get if you cross the Mayor of London with James Bond?
A Quantum of Boris.

Yowzers!

Worth sending but if you are going to send, then don't post them.

Or you'll get caught if they google search.

n.b. I'd phrase it as.

London Mayor to play 007 in.

What do you cough up once every four years?

The Olympic Phlegm.

Actually, better not post anymore as Sootyj says

There's also the danger of other writers plain 'ole nicking them.

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 2:26 PM GMT

There's also the danger of other writers plain 'ole nicking them.


True

Is it wrong to do that?

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 2:21 PM GMT

Worth sending but if you are going to send, then don't post them.

Or you'll get caught if they google search.

n.b. I'd phrase it as.

London Mayor to play 007 in.

Surely they'll Google search my name though?

You're probably right though. Gems like Quantum of Boris should stay locked up tight.

But is it as good as my

Quantum of olives?

I say Bussell does this mean we will do battle on the bloodied field of 110 character gags?

I the Bluemax in my Spad triplane and you in your Sopworth camel?

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 2:39 PM GMT

But is it as good as my

Quantum of olives?

There's only one way to find out.... FIGHT!

Quote: ContainsNuts @ November 21 2008, 2:40 PM GMT

There's only one way to find out.... FIGHT!

And you may contain nuts, but have you got nuts?

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 2:39 PM GMT

I say Bussell does this mean we will do battle on the bloodied field of 110 character gags?

Didn't know you'd done a Quantum joke already. Can I suggest we thrash this out with bike chains and switchblades?

There's plenty of Quantum sollace gags and your jokes was diferent on the same subject e.g. mine was.

New 007 film set in Waitros

Quantum of Olives

But I'm always up for a punch up though.

How about at the Xmas meet up, we use tickling sticks to force our foe off London Bridge?

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 2:41 PM GMT

And you may contain nuts, but have you got nuts?

Mainly almonds with a few cashew.

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