Well there's one joke out of the 50 I saw that got sold, that was utterly briliant.
But it was the only joke that guy sold.
It seems though my 118 118 moula is costing me the respect of my peers.
Not that I had much of that to begin with.
118 118 Need Jokes Page 7
But even Lee writes reams of greeting card stuff that doesn't sell, the more you submit the better your chance. I have sold two, I got an email from Jack this morning.
Here are my rejections. Thanks for putting yours up Sootyj, that was helpful. I don't think I'm necessarily too far off the mark. Maybe a bit too adult in some instances I'm ashamed to say.
My brother in law's a gardener. He's raking it in.
My sister works in the Polo factory. She's minted.
My mate drives a skip. He's loaded.
My mate's renovating the leaning tower of Pizza. He's always on the piss.
I bought that Johnny Depp DVD the other day. Turned out it was a pirate copy.
I bumped into a mate wearing an England shirt. I said ‘I didn't think you liked football,' he said, ‘I don't.'
I used to date this woman. All she talked about was the suffragettes. Turned out she was addicted to heroines.
I met a lesbian the other day who was gluten intolerant. She said it didn't stop her eating out.
I've got a cousin in Burnley. He's just bought a new whi-aye pod.
I used to work in a tent factory but got laid off when production moved abroad. The poles were much cheaper.
Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 9:51 AM GMTWell there's one joke out of the 50 I saw that got sold, that was utterly briliant.
But it was the only joke that guy sold.
It seems though my 118 118 moula is costing me the respect of my peers.
Not that I had much of that to begin with.
You've lost no respect from me, in fact you helped me with it. Keep your chin up, stiff upper lip, or what ever you English people say.
All of yesterdays efforts rejected too. Although he did say he liked a particular gag but it was 'just too rude sadly'.
I'll be taking the masturbation ones off todays submission list in the light of that.
sent 17 one-liners off yesterday, mostly gags about celebs. Quite difficult keeping them under 110 characters though. Anyway, we'll see what happens. Spoke to Jack on the phone - nice bloke.
Steve other than the rudes ones (don't waste your time, there's no chance), those are all very similar to mine.
Some to ones I've actually sold.
As such I'd say persist write more and keep going.
You're on the right path.
I suspect drug references maybe a no no, but I've submitted some.
Quote: Lee Henman @ November 21 2008, 10:55 AM GMTsent 17 one-liners off yesterday, mostly gags about celebs. Quite difficult keeping them under 110 characters though. Anyway, we'll see what happens. Spoke to Jack on the phone - nice bloke.
That's it I'm going to send Hallmark my new range of racist cards for people on the BNP list.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I hate Pakistanis
And Jews to.
Merry Xmas
Santas Sack
Send em back
Especially blacks.
Quote: steve by any other name @ November 21 2008, 10:06 AM GMTI've got a cousin in Burnley. He's just bought a new whi-aye pod.
Burnley? Surely whi-aye is geordie. I think Newcastle would have been better
Geordie scifi film?
Why aye Robot.
Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 11:01 AM GMTGeordie scifi film?
Why aye Robot.
Have you seen my geordie robot on youtube? I may have already posted it.
It's fantastic but he's called Rollo.
Can I say again though he is fab.
Have you ever thought of selling e-cards like the guys at www.jibjab.com.
I bet people would pay to send one of your cheaky video missives.
Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 11:15 AM GMTIt's fantastic but he's called Rollo.
Can I say again though he is fab.
Have you ever thought of selling e-cards like the guys at www.jibjab.com.
I bet people would pay to send one of your cheaky video missives.
I'm not allowed :-(
Exclusivity contract and all that guff.
What's a Geordie's favourite Xmas carol?
Haddaway In A Manger.
I wrote this, do you think its any use gagsters?
Sned it it sounds unusually original
It felt weird but I still wrote it:
What's yellow and moves in high society? Banana Trump.