Stand Up revisited

Still working on new material, going with the concept of misinformation,

I posted the following on my last thread

'misinformation. Cos I don't know about you but I was scared shitless of Father Christmas, was it just me or the thought of a big fat man in a gown climbing into your room in the middle of the night not right? He spends all year with little people watching children and saying if they were'naughty' or if he thought they were 'nice'! Any other night of the year you run down stairs and say theres a big bloke climbing through ya window ya dad would be running up with his home made weapon, usually a part off the vaccum but not christmas eve, if I'd had woken up and saw someone trying to get in my window and shouted about it down the stairs the folks would of just went 'aw', 'Its just Santa love'

Here's more Ive been thinking up

What is it about straight men in gay clubs, my wife was always trying to get me to go to one she use to go to with her gay pals but I wasn't too fond of the idea, thought I'd get molestered, cos that is what blokes think. Finally got dragged down there once and realised how prattish Id acted when my mate Dave was too scared to go the bog.
"Im bursting for a whizz" he gusted
"Well go the loo then"
"But the gays might get me" he whispered
"What?"
"I might get felt up"
Well, Brad Pitt he isn't, he's a broomstick with spots and he knows it and in a normal club he would venture to the bar or onto the dancefloor without fear (or hope) of being molestered by scores of young women, but in the gay bar he thinks he is a target, why?
I tell you what these terrorists have got it all wrong, blowing themselves up, talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face, if you wanna get the brits and Americans outta your country send in the gays, no guns need firing, no lives lose, send in the Pink brigade and watch'em run

I thought that the core concept was good but I would take a different approach e.g. you should either act like your scared of gays (obviously ironically) or have a go at your mate. At the moment you are doing both which an audience, most likely drunk, may get confused by.

Loved the Father Christmas bit, but think the gay club bit needs tweeking a bit.

I liked the gay bit. AJP is right about acting like you are scared of them. That would be cool.xx

I think with this sort of stuff how you present yourself on stage is 50% of the gag, just standing still with a mic won't do it justice, gotta animate yourself

Quote: charley rance @ June 27, 2007, 9:19 PM

I liked the gay bit. AJP is right about acting like you are scared of them. That would be cool.xx

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Not exactly what I meant

The Santa thing didn't really do it for me.

Here's my take

I have this thing about Father Christmas. There's one absent Father. One year, and he turns up when you are sleeping. And he makes up for it by giving you a Mastermind game and a Satsuma. But we lie a lot about father Christmas, don't we? He comes down your chimney. "We haven't got a chimney" "Okay, he climbs through the window" "The window is locked""Okay, he is in your closet" "...I'm scared". It's a wonder we haven't got a generation of kids who are frightened of MFI Wardrobes.

This whole sleigh thing get me as well. He's got flying reindeer, for Gods' sake. He's on a sleigh, travelling at five million miles a second, leaving a trail of tinsel behind him, one mile up and facing a reindeers' arse. And we tell kids not to take drugs? And you can bet if he did exist you would get up on Christmas morning to car alarms going off due to teh windscreens having been smashed by reindeer shit hitting them at ninety miles and hour.

The other thing is, with all the accent on terror, don't you think he needs a permit now? I mean, it's not exactly inconspicuous, is it? Fat guy, cattle, sleigh. And he's got a beard.

That's how I would attack Santa. Not physically, you understand.

Liked the gay routine, which can be developed. You could become like women are in straight clubs, going to the toilet in pairs etc. There's milage in the gay thing worth developing.

Quote: Ed Parnell @ June 28, 2007, 2:23 AM

Liked the gay routine, which can be developed. You could become like women are in straight clubs, going to the toilet in pairs etc. There's milage in the gay thing worth developing.

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Well if you want to be involved with the Barsteward writing team we could honed that routine and work it into the script because obviously it is based around a pub. Perhaps in a future episode the pub is taken on as the latest gay spot and though Barsteward claims to be PC he is fact very homophonic and that is shown through his immature actions