How does it smell? 
118 118 Need Jokes Page 5
Awful.
Awful.
Awful.
Awful.
Like fish.
My dog has no home.
Hw does it dwell.
My nose has no body.
My dog has no chainsaw, how does it fell?
Quote: Mikey J @ November 19 2008, 10:59 PM GMTSounds like good money (in theory) if just 10 greeting card gags a week get accepted, it'll net you £1500.
....or have I got the wrong end of the stick about earning that much for 10?
I don't think I could think up 100 -150 gags per week. It DOES sound like a hard slog.
No, your figures are correct. But it's famine or feast - you can go months without selling very much at all and then just as you're about to be thrown to the slavering bailiffs you get a big cheque which pulls you back from the brink of doom. So on average it sounds great but if you're shit with money like me it can be very stressful. But I'm used to it now.
Is that due to sales figurers or invoicing bullshit?
And what's your most and least proud slogan?
Tyco Brahe had no nose. He lost it in a duel.
(and that's evidently true - just to be informative, Brahe was an astronomer, the mentor of Johannes Kepler).
But he also smelled awful.
My joke has no punchline
How will it sell? Terribly
Quote: sootyj @ November 19 2008, 11:14 PM GMTIs that due to sales figurers or invoicing bullshit?
And what's your most and least proud slogan?
It's just due to the fact that when you submit an idea it can be 5 or 6 weeks before it gets read. So it can be quite hard to budget. Well what I actually mean is it's hard for ME to budget because I'm a useless wanker. But that's always been the case.
By slogans I expect you mean copy. I don't have a favourite or least favourite - although I do like this one.
and
b) because it's the only card in that range to ever break from the tradition of having the letters typeset in that stiff, British way.
oh and
c) because it sold millions of copies!
Quote: Lee Henman @ November 20 2008, 12:13 AM GMTIt's just due to the fact that when you submit an idea it can be 5 or 6 weeks before it gets read. So it can be quite hard to budget. Well what I actually mean is it's hard for ME to budget because I'm a useless wanker. But that's always been the case.
By slogans I expect you mean copy. I don't have a favourite or least favourite - although I do like this one.
a) because they let me get away with the name "Hugo"
and
b) because it's the only card in that range to ever break from the tradition of having the letters typeset in that stiff, British way.oh and
c) because it sold millions of copies!
And do you have to search for pictures as well as writing Lee?
Quote: Griff @ November 20 2008, 12:21 AM GMTI always wondered ... presumably the photos are new ones staged to look old-fashioned, most of them aren't real archive photos? So do you just say in your submission "Picture of a thoughtful chappy striking up a Lucifer" and they go and organise a photoshoot?
Interesting... I've always assumed the opposite - that they are dirt cheap archive shots that someone happens to have the rights to, and they wouldn't dream of the expense of getting modern day actors or models in. Lee, settle a bet. My penny, or Griff's?
Yeah, I love those range of cards too. 
I always thought they were old archived photos in the public domain.
Which brings me onto the next question:
Did you submit the old pic with your gag or do they just match it up with a pic.
I always thought the writer would see that pic and think up a gag.
This is why we need the card guru to rulu
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ November 20 2008, 12:18 AM GMTAnd do you have to search for pictures as well as writing Lee?
Nah they provide us with vast catalogues of images. Although after all these years we could do with some more.
Having said that when I'm working on different ranges I will use Google images for inspiration
Quote: Griff @ November 20 2008, 12:21 AM GMTI love that range of cards Lee, you've probably given me a good many laughs over the years.
I always wondered ... presumably the photos are new ones staged to look old-fashioned, most of them aren't real archive photos? So do you just say in your submission "Picture of a thoughtful chappy striking up a Lucifer" and they go and organise a photoshoot?
Actually they're all real images from the fifties.