I personally would be polite but distant. Basically ignore them.
I certainly would rather die then let them know they'd hurt my feelings.
I'm sorry, but more help needed with my situation Page 3
Quote: zooo @ November 19 2008, 1:58 PM GMTI personally would be polite but distant. Basically ignore them.
I certainly would rather die then let them know they'd hurt my feelings.
Nah, send the message I suggested. She'll either laugh and say yes. Or she will let you know it's a no go. Either way you'll know where you stand.
Mike, whatever you do, don't take any time off work. Suffer the feelings, whatever, but don't lose money over this. It just ain't worth it.
She's really saying 'no' without actually facing up to saying it.
Quote: Marc P @ November 19 2008, 2:01 PM GMTNah, send the message I suggested. She'll either laugh and say yes. Or she will let you know it's a no go. Either way you'll know where you stand.
I liked the text you suggested 
but I don't think i'll send it. I have a pretty good idea where I stand.
Quote: john lucas 101 @ November 19 2008, 2:01 PM GMTMike, whatever you do, don't take any time off work. Suffer the feelings, whatever, but don't lose money over this. It just ain't worth it.
I must admit after reading your posts, I won't take time off work, it is silly to lose money over and I literally can't afford to do that anyway.
Quote: zooo @ November 19 2008, 1:58 PM GMTI personally would be polite but distant. Basically ignore them.
I certainly would rather die then let them know they'd hurt my feelings.
That's a pretty good description of how I have been, polite, but distant. Not very talkative, I respond politely if she talks to me, but I don't get into a conversation.
Quote: Bad dog @ November 19 2008, 2:02 PM GMTShe's really saying 'no' without actually facing up to saying it.
If that's the case then it's annoying because she's had so many opportunities to say 'no'. At the end of the third date I asked her if she wanted to go to the cinema she said 'yeah that would be nice', then you know the rest. It was her that suggested the third date.
Hmm, in that case, in gentle mode, ask her quite openly what she thinks.
Quote: Bad dog @ November 19 2008, 2:09 PM GMTHmm, in that case, in gentle mode, ask her quite openly what she thinks.
That's the point though, I know what she thinks, if she wanted me to know that she was still interested in me she would have said something better than "i was ill". Better yet if she wanted me to know that she was still interested she would have text me.
I would put an end to it now then. I wouldn't keep on about it with her.
(But that is just me, that's not advice.)
Thing is, Mike, even if you did go out on another date, the chances are that you would spend the entire time second guessing everything you and the girl did. It would be an entirely anxious affair, probably devoid of any enjoyment whatsoever.
Best to put your energies into sourcing other social outlets and not getting too hung up on anybody just because of the close proximity.
Get some closure. text her and ask if she's got any fit friends at least.
Quote: Marc P @ November 19 2008, 2:21 PM GMTGet some closure. text her and ask if she's got any fit friends at least.
Do that!
Don't take this the wrong way, Mike, but there's a brilliant scene in Swingers when the John Farvenue character completely self-implodes while leaving messages on a girls answer machine. You remind me slightly of that. It's just a few dates that didn't work out. End of story. And as a strapping young man of 22, you're hardly likely to be short of dates in the future.
Quote: chipolata @ November 19 2008, 2:22 PM GMTDon't take this the wrong way, Mike, but there's a brilliant scene in Swingers when the John Farvenue ....
Favreau.
Quote: chipolata @ November 19 2008, 2:22 PM GMTDon't take this the wrong way, Mike, but there's a brilliant scene in Swingers when the John Farvenue character completely self-implodes while leaving messages on a girls answer machine. You remind me slightly of that. It's just a few dates that didn't work out. End of story. And as a strapping young man of 22, you're hardly likely to be short of dates in the future.
He's right you know.
Quote: chipolata @ November 19 2008, 2:22 PM GMTDon't take this the wrong way, Mike, but there's a brilliant scene in Swingers when the John Farvenue character completely self-implodes while leaving messages on a girls answer machine. You remind me slightly of that. It's just a few dates that didn't work out. End of story. And as a strapping young man of 22, you're hardly likely to be short of dates in the future.
I guess I just thought that it would work, simply because the dates were good, we laughed a lot and chatted, no awkward moments - I know you'll say that was only from my end, but she really seemed to enjoy herself too, at the end of the third date she invited me back to hers for a cup of tea, why would she do that if she wasn't interested?
Then she said said 'yes' when I asked her to the cinema. It's not as straightforward as three dates that didn't work out because the way she's being is confusing.