In the spirit of Super Long Sketch day I'd like to offer this - the longest sketch I've ever written. It's so long in fact that only the foolhardiest will read to the end. Enjoy!
INT. LAB – DAY
DOCTOR SAMSON TINKERS WITH HIS TIME MACHINE. DOCTOR JENKINS STROLLS IN LOOKING PLEASED WITH HIMSELF.
DOCTOR JENKINS:
Behold, Doctor Samson, the very apex of science!
JENKINS HOLDS ALOFT A VIAL OF BILIOUS GREEN LIQUID.
DOCTOR SAMSON:
Do you need a hankerchief?
DOCTOR JENKINS:
Laugh if you will, you rancorous little blip, but this elixir represents the very future of time travel!
DOCTOR SAMSON:
Pish and tish.
DOCTOR JENKINS:
I'll pish and tish you!
JENKINS QUAFFS THE CONTENTS OF THE VIAL.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
Already I feel it taking effect. Goodbye, Samson! Enjoy history!
INT. LAB – DAY
THE FOLLOWING IS SHOT FROM JENKINS P.O.V. THE PICTURE COMES INTO FOCUS AND HE CHECKS HIS WATCH.
DOCTOR JENKINS:
(V.O.) Doctor Jenkins time log #406. Point five. Mark one. Slash… two. (BEAT) Extraordinary! I've appeared a full ten hours into the future!
HE LURCHES FORWARD WITH A STAGGER.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
(V.O.) Experiencing a loss of equilibrium – supposedly a side effect of the future juice.
SCIENTISTS AND RESEARCH ASSISTANTS GATHER AROUND. DOCTOR SAMSON IS AMONG THEM. HE MOUTHS WORDS WHILST JENKINS CONTINUES HIS LOG.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
(V.O.) It seems my intrusion has angered these people of the future. I will attempt to placate them.
JENKINS HANDS A BRAND NEW IPHONE TO SAMSON. SAMPSON PULLS A FACE.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
(V.O.) Unsurprisingly, my offering is viewed as somewhat primitive in this time. Still, given that I'm presenting a gift, it seems as though future Samson, like his counterpart in my time, is an utter dick.
SAMSON SHAKES HIS HEAD CONDESCENDINGLY.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
(V.O.) No matter, my study continues. I will now test the social mores of this era through interaction with the opposite sex.
HE GRABS A FEMALE RESEARCH ASSISTANT BY THE TIT. APPALLED, SHE PUSHES HIM AWAY.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
(V.O.) Fascinating! Contrary to popular conjecture, sexual inhibitions are no less stringent here than in the present day.
ON A CLIPBOARD JENKINS SCRAWLS THE WORD "FRIGID". HE TRIES TO WRITE MORE BUT THE WORDS BECOME ILLEGIBLE. THE PICTURE GOES FUZZY AROUND THE EDGES.
DOCTOR JENKINS (CONT):
(V.O.) (PAINED) My head… another unexpected side effect. Quickly… I must return to my own time.
HE UPENDS A GREEN TEST TUBE AND THE SCREEN GOES BLACK.
INT. LAB - DAY
JENKINS COMES TO. SILHOUETTES APPEAR BEFORE HIM.
DOCTOR JENKINS:
(V.O.) I did it, Samson! Your time machine is but the outmoded claptrap of yesteryear!
SAMSON COMES INTO FOCUS, AS DO HIS COLLEAGUES – INCLUDING THE RESEARCH ASSISTANT JENKINS MOLESTED.
DOCTOR JENKINS:
What the…?
DOCTOR SAMSON:
Have your phone back.
HE STUFFS AN IPHONE IN JENKINS' HAND, GRABS HIS TEST TUBE AND SNIFFS IT.
DOCTOR SAMSON (CONT):
You invented Grenadine, you blithering lightweight.
JENKINS LOOKS DOWN AT THE SICK ON HIS LAB COAT.
END SKETCH