Quote: Marc P @ November 16 2008, 10:10 PM GMTAnd the same with punctuation and spelling correctly.
That's seems needlessly snide.
My First Sketch: The Policeman and the Burglar Page 2
Not a bad sketch by the way, very Python-esque I thought.
Quote: sootyj @ November 16 2008, 4:41 PM GMTAlmost perfect but you don't need that explaining line.
Good
Quote: sootyj @ November 16 2008, 4:41 PM GMTI'm a great believe in the less explanation the better.
No, I think you over-explained yourself there. I'd cut the second line.
It does seem quite long but I actually wrote it imaging it being performed on stage and generally I don't want to cut it too short. Python is a big influence for me so I appreciate that. Thanks for your comments guys
It's not length it's pace.
Life of Brian is like one mega long sketch that never really dips.
And alot of the time the laugh comes from the mental leap the audience makes to get what you're saying.
Explanation is kryptonite to good sketches.
The "this is getting silly" seems to me more Python than Pythonesque, truth be told. As a whole, would probably be quite funny to look at.
I enjoyed that. Well done. Very silly. 
Layout Tips:
Avoid changing the speakers' ID names; it is not part of what the audience SEE so the changed IDs just confuse the producer/director/actors on first reading.
In this kind of sketch just give them names ALBERT & CEDRIC for instance (it doesn't matter that the names do not appear in the dialogue) or just call them PERSON1 and PERSON2
Stage directions go in a separate 'paragraph'.
I'm still confused as to how many Characters you actually have in this sketch.
is it two or is it three?
==============
ALBERT WEARING OLD FASHIONED POLICEMAN UNIFORM AND CEDRIC DRESSED IN STRIPEY BLACK AND WHITE TOP AND BLACK MASK MEET IN A STREET.
ALBERT
Ello, Ello, Ello, What's all this then?
CEDRIC
Just out for an evening stroll.
etc ...
ALBERT grabs the bag and finds a policeman's hat inside.
etc
FREDERICK ALSO DRESSED AS A POLICMAN ENTERS
....
Just two. I understand completely how this would be performed if it was on stage and that's what I had it in mind for. It was quite difficult to transfer it into a script but I think it would be a lot clearer if it was just watched rather than read. I'm used to improvising and devising scenes from an initial idea but until I wrote this had never actually scripted any of my sketch ideas. So I'm still getting used to it, especially formatting, layout rules etc. Really appreciate the advice - it's been helpful.
Naturally as author you would know what you intended 
,
but you have to write is down in such a manner that so that everyone else knows what you intended, preferably on first reading without having to go back over the text again.
Try posting a layout-rewrite below.
I will do a layout-rewrite tomorrow when my head is a bit clearer I think. Brain is slowly turning to mush at the moment.
Agree about the characters changing names being very confusing, and I'm sure you can tweak it here and there, but otherwise I think it's a terrific sketch. I enjoyed the emphasis on it being the 2nd and 3rd oldest trick in the book.
Well done.
Oh, and if possible don't use the same first letter for more than one of your characters (the actors find it hard to read).
I did like the idea, btw. I agree very Pythonesque.
Dan
Heh, heh I think maybe you now got yourself confused as to which character was which.
BOB IS DRESSED IN AN OLD FASHIONED POLICE UNIFORM AND MICK IS DRESSED AS A CAT BURGLAR COMPLETE WITH STRIPEY BLACK & WHITE TOP, BLACK MASK AND SWAG BAG. THEY MEET IN THE MIDDLE OF A STREET. IT IS NIGHT.
BOB
Ello. Ello Ello What's all this then?
MICK
Just out for an evening stroll.
BOB
Hold on a minute, what's in that bag? Its got SWAG written on it
MICK
So it does. Well I wouldn't read too much into it officer. I needed a new bag and the only ones left at the bag shop were the ones with swag written on. Shop keeper said he was struggling to shift them.
BOB
It certainly looks suspicious
MICK
I suppose it does. Oh well, best be off..
BOB
I'm afraid I'm going to have to search that bag.
BOB grabs the bag and finds a policeman's hat inside
BOB
What's all this then? Planning to disguise yourself as an officer were you? Is that right? It's the oldest trick in the book!
MICK
I can explain..
BOB
You are going to have to come with me. They can listen to your "explanation" at the station.
MICK grabs the hat from the policeman and puts it on
MICK
But you have it all wrong.
MICK peels off his clothes to reveal a policeman uniform
MICK
I AM a police officer, and I was working undercover until you ruined my disguise.
BOB
I'm so sorry Sir. I didn't realise.
MICK
Now get lost before you cause anymore damage
BOB starts walking off, he is still holding the swag bag
MICK
Hold on just a minute. What's in that bag?
BOB
Oh this? It isn't mine. I seized it from a Burglar a few moments ago
MICK
A burglar eh?
MICK starts to pull off BOB's policemans uniform to reveal another burglar outfit
MICK
Ah-ha! I suppose you disguised yourself as an officer so you could nick a burglar, taking his swag for yourself? Is that right? It's the second oldest trick in the book.
BOB
I can explain.. I.. I...
MICK
Your going to have to come with me boy
BOB
Hang on a minute...
BOB notices something about MICKS uniform and starts to pull it off to reveal another burglar outfit
BOB
What's this then? I suppose you disguised yourself as a police officer who had disguised himself as a burglar so you would have the perfect excuse if you were to be caught? Is that right? It's the 3rd oldest trick in the book! I'm going to have to ask you to come with me. The boys at the station will be very interested to hear about this..
MICK
But your not even a real officer!
BOB
That's where your wrong..
BOB starts to pull at his clothes
MICK
No stop. Stop! I can't take much more of this.
BOB
What the matter?
MICK
It's all getting a little bit silly don't you think?
BOB
Silly? It's just a common case of mistaken identidy. Happens all the time.
MICK
Look lets just pretend we never met.. this whole situation is getting out of hand...I'll see you around
MICK picks up the swag bag and exits
BOB
At least look at the next one..it's the best one
BOB starts to peel off his burglar clothes to reveal a dress before realising the bag has gone
BOB
Stop! Thief! He's got my bag!
He runs off after MICK.. and exits