Accident Prone

V/O
Had an accident at work in the last three years?

V/O
No! Call Accident Assured 0898 444444 and talk to one of our experts
If you haven't had an accident at work in the last three years, one of our experts will show you how, we may even be able to arrange one for you

Mr Ken Preston called us

KEN PRESTON
I hadn't had an accident at work for almost four years and no matter how I tried I just couldn't have one. I called Accident Assured, they carried out a risk assessment in my workplace, then gave me full instructions and within a matter of days I had a broken arm.
I received a cheque for £125 and the insurance company didn't suspect a thing.

NO ACCIDENT NO FEE, WE ARE SO CONFIDENT THAT YOU CAN HAVE AN ACCIDENT, IF YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ONE WE WON'T TAKE A PENNY.

MRS JOAN WHITBREAD
Men dominated most of the accidents in my workplace, women just didn't get a look in, I contacted Accident Assured. They were so friendly and explained everything, two days after my consultation I amputated my arm just above the wrist in some moving machinery. I received £230 plus £50 for my wedding ring, I also sold my guitar for £75,
Thanks Accident Assured.

V/O
Act now, it's never too soon to have your next accident,
but you're watching TV at 11am in the morning so you've probably already had one,
Why not tell someone who is less fortunate about Accident Assured and we'll give you £30 for every able bodied person you introduce.

TAG LINE
Accident Assured, it might cost you an arm or a leg.

Very good. Send this to RFTP (there's still a few days to go before the deadline).

Couple of small points. In Joan's dialogue she says thanks "General Accident" rather then "Accident Assured", not sure if she is thanking the insurance co, for the pay out , but it is confusing.

The final voiceover line drags a bit - a small tweak, but try changing "someone who is less fortunate than you" to "someone less fortunate." I also feel the line should end on a bit of a gag - maybe rather than "'every new customer" try "every new cripple", which ties it to the tagline.

Thanks Timbo
I have made some tweaks

Yup, good stuff, made me laugh. Send it

Quote: Summer G @ November 13 2008, 10:21 PM GMT

Thanks Timbo
I have made some tweaks

View original

Hmm, can see why you did not like my suggestion, but that's now a bit clunky. On reflection I would go back to "customer". I am not being very helpful here, am I?

Nice.

Unusually, I'd suggest making the first line longer. Something like "Have you had an accident at work in the last three years? An injury which wasn't your fault?"

These type of sketches work best when you stick as closely as possible to the format which you are parodying and the first line is your best tool for setting up exactly what you are doing.

I'd ditch the line "we talked to Ken Preston" and ditch the phone number as they're not necessary. For something like this I'd keep it as pure as possible and not try to put in other observations unless they parody something in the original adverts or are really, REALLY funny - so I would also ditch the bit about men getting all the accidents and women not getting a look in and ditch the bit about already having had an accident if watching after 11am. But that's just me.

I love the bit about getting extra money for the wedding ring and selling the guitar. I can totally imagine this working for RFTP.

~Nice clever idea.

But I think we need to see some of the arranged accidents actually happening. That would take it from a smile sketch to a laugh out loud sketch.

Exelent but I think Perry's right more details please.

Also I'd go for jobs where accidents are unlikely to happen.

Vicars, matress testers etc.

Or go for something darker prostitutesm bank robbers etc.

Top Notch!

Is that one for RFTP?

Could be perfect for it.

Loved this did make me laugh some!