You can get pretty big ringbound ones in Rymans.
That's where I get mine. But I don't think they're 500 pages. 
Blackadder reading - suggestions wanted Page 2
302,000 posts zooo! 
Ha, what by myself? 
Not even I've managed that yet!
Nearly at 40,000 though.
Hmmm. Three weeks?
Three hours.
Hm. Manageable...
You should just stick with the closing scenes of the final episode.
If you get the Blackadder music played on piano in the background (the poppy fields bit) there won't be a dry eye in the house.
Ha! They would have to do hilarious slo-mo Baywatch running. Might ruin the mood somewhat.
Edmund: For God's sake, George, how long have you been in the army?
George: Oh me? I joined up straight away, sir. August the 4th, 1914. Gah, what
a day that was: myself and the rest of the fellows leapfrogging down
to the Cambridge recruiting office and then playing tiddlywinks in the
queue. We had hammered Oxford's tiddlywinkers only the week before,
and there we were, off to hammer the Boche! Crashingly superb bunch of
blokes. Fine, clean-limbed -- even their acne had a strange nobility
about it.
Edmund: Yes, and how are all the boys now?
George: Well, er, Jacko and the Badger bought it at the first Ypres front,
unfortunately -- quite a shock, that. I remember Bumfluff's house-
master wrote and told me that Sticky had been out for a duck, and the
Gubber had snitched a parcel sausage-end and gone goose-over-stump
frogside.
Edmund: Meaning...?
George: I don't know, sir, but I read in the Times that they'd both been
killed.
Quote: Lee Henman @ November 6 2008, 7:13 PM GMTEdmund: For God's sake, George, how long have you been in the army?
George: Oh me? I joined up straight away, sir. August the 4th, 1914. Gah, what
a day that was: myself and the rest of the fellows leapfrogging down
to the Cambridge recruiting office and then playing tiddlywinks in the
queue. We had hammered Oxford's tiddlywinkers only the week before,
and there we were, off to hammer the Boche! Crashingly superb bunch of
blokes. Fine, clean-limbed -- even their acne had a strange nobility
about it.Edmund: Yes, and how are all the boys now?
George: Well, er, Jacko and the Badger bought it at the first Ypres front,
unfortunately -- quite a shock, that. I remember Bumfluff's house-
master wrote and told me that Sticky had been out for a duck, and the
Gubber had snitched a parcel sausage-end and gone goose-over-stump
frogside.Edmund: Meaning...?
George: I don't know, sir, but I read in the Times that they'd both been
killed.
OR...
Sir?
Edmund: Yes, Lieutenant?
George: I'm scared, sir.
Baldrick: I'm scared too, sir.
George: I mean, I'm the last of the tiddlywinking leapfroggers from the Golden
Summer of 1914. I don't want to die. I'm really not overkeen on dying
at all, sir.
Edmund: How are you feeling, Darling?
Darling: Erm, not all that good, Blackadder -- rather hoped I'd get through the
whole show; go back to work at Pratt & Sons; keep wicket for the
Croydon gentlemen; marry Doris... Made a note in my diary on my way
here. Simply says, "Bugger."
Edmund: Well, quite.
(a voice outside gives orders)
Voice: (??)! (??)!
Edmund: Ah well, come on. Let's move.
Voice: Fix bayonets!
(They start to go outside)
Edmund: Don't forget your stick, Lieutenant.
George: Oh no, sir -- wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this!
(outside, they all line up as the shelling stops)
Darling: Listen! Our guns have stopped.
George: You don't think...?
Baldrick: Maybe the war's over. Maybe it's peace!
George: Well, hurrah! The big knobs have gone round the table and yanked the
iron out of the fire!
Darling: Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War: 1914-1917.
George: Hip hip!
All but Edmund: Hurray!
Edmund: (loading his revolver) I'm afraid not. The guns have stopped because
we're about to attack. Not even our generals are mad enough to shell
their own men. They think it's far more sporting to let the Germans
do it.
George: So we are, in fact, going over. This is, as they say, it.
Edmund: I'm afraid so, unless I think of something very quickly.
Voice: Company, one pace forward!
(everyone steps forward)
Baldrick: Ooh, there's a nasty splinter on that ladder, sir! A bloke could
hurt himself on that.
Voice: Stand ready!
(everyone puts a foot forward)
Baldrick: I have a plan, sir.
Edmund: Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?
Baldrick: Yes, sir.
Edmund: As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning
at Oxford University?
Baldrick: Yes, sir.
Voice: On the signal, company will advance!
Edmund: Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was
better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad.
I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?
I need to get the Blackadder script book.
I 'borrowed' mine. 
