Best lines in a sitcom Page 2
Ralph: Me, fail English? That's unpossible.
Quote: Aaron @ October 31 2008, 12:18 AM BSTBooks, why is I have to study English? I speaks da bitch!
<3
haha that show did have a few good ones.
Favourite Simpsons quotes:
Marge: "Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday."
Homer: "Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!"
and
Homer: "There's your giraffe, little girl."
Ralph Wiggum: "I'm a boy."
Homer: "That's the spirit. Never give up."
Family Guy
Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
From Only Fools and Horses:
Rodney: "I am depressed about the state of my life at the moment Del. I mean right now I've got this horrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck I'll come back as me."
Curt, that Lionel Hutz lines is one of my all time favourites. There's thousands from the simpsons, it's too good. Nearly every line from 'Last exit to Springfield' or 'Marge vs the Monorail' are worthy of a mention. One of my favourites being Mayor Quimby, "We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it".
Or, one I've just remembered. When Homer is on the jury in the Freddy Quimby case he realises that if the jury is deadlocked they get put up in a nice hotel.
Homer: "I'm just doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel".
Kent: So, as it turns out, we've all been victims of a cruel hoax, masterminded by a 10-year old hooligan. The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents.
Homer: It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: Sorry. Uh... could you edit that last part out?
Kent: Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast.
Homer: D'oh!
Grandads line
Red Dwarf:
Kryten: Come back and meet the crew; you'll like them. Some of them. One of them. Maybe...
Dan
I think my all time favourite sitcom line (assuming mockumentaries count) is from the headteacher episode of People Like Us. The head is doing assembly and reading out the notices and says something like:
"This week's meeting of the Problem Solving Club will be held in room 26 on the second floor of B block...but you're not allowed to use the stairs."
"I'd have never met Geoff if Marion hadn't of left me. I don't feel like I've lost a wife, more gained a friend."
Also, too true about all the Simpsons quotes 
Blackadder 2
(Edmund to Nursey about the cannibalization of Captain Rum)
"He was a second rate captain, but a first rate third course."
That's one of the greatest single lines ever written.
J.D.: Look uh... Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with you. I saw your penis and I noticed possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
J.D.: Last night when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
J.D.: I was outside in the bushes.
J.D.: [Janitor makes confused, sighing noise] Look, it was just a coincidence man. I mean, eh, if you had looked out the window you would've seen my penis.
Janitor: What? Why?
J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours.
classic line, classic scene, when scrubs was at its peak!