An experiment here...can I have completely honest opinions on this sketch please? Love? Like? Hate? Detest? Completely honest.
1. INT. THE "ARE YOU BEING SERVED" SET. DAY.
A SPOOF TRAIL FOR A NEW UPCOMING COMEDY. ALL THE REGULAR "SERVED" CHARACTERS ARE ASSEMBLED, PEACOCK, HUMPHRIES ETC. MRS SLOCOMBE COMES OUT OF THE LIFT.
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER:
Starting next Friday on ABC, it's the world's first single entendre comedy!
MRS SLOCOMBE:
Sorry I'm late everyone, my heater broke and my pussy was frozen solid!
SHORT PAUSE AS EVERYONE STARES.
MRS SLOCOMBE:
And by that I mean my vagina.
EVERYONE REACTS IN A "OOO, SAUCY!" KIND OF WAY.
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER:
It's the single entendre smash, "Are You Being Shagged?"!
MR HUMPHRIES MINCES OVER TO MR LUCAS
MR HUMPHRIES:
I was just in the furniture department resting my feet on a pouffe.
MR LUCAS SNIGGERS DIRTILY
MR HUMPHRIES:
Next I'll be resting my feet on a homosexual man!
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER:
Only one meaning, one layer, and one track mind!
MISS BRAHMS WALKS BY HOLDING A PEAR.
CAPTAIN PEACOCK:
Ah, good morning Miss Brahms. What a large pair you have.
MISS BRAHMS:
(HOLDING UP PEAR) What...this?
MR LUCAS:
He's talking about your bosoms.
CAPTAIN PEACOCK:
Yes. Your breasts. Titties. Bristols.
MRS BRAHMS SMILES AND WALKS OFF.
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER:
It's single entendre comedy at its finest, on "Are You Being Shagged"
MRS SLOCOMBE RUNS IN, SCREAMING.
MRS SLOCOMBE:
I've just seen a stiff in the lavatory!
MR RUMBOLD:
What, somebody's died in there?
MRS SLOCOMBE:
No, Mr Parker was having a wank.
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER:
Are You Being Shagged? 10:15 next Friday on ABC.
MR HUMPHRIES IS ON THE PHONE
MR HUMPHRIES:
Oooo I do love a nice hard penis up my bottom!
END SKETCH