British Comedy Guide

Let's invent a rubbish superhero.

Well why not? Most of the real ones are rubbish, a bereaved man dressed as a rubber bat?

Here's mine.

"This Charmin Man"

A mutant Smiths fan with a role of super absorbent super powered kitchen roll.

Powers include.

1 Ability to go back in time on Sundays.
2 Kill DJs at will.
3 And confuse people by releasing ironically racist records, or are they...

His kitchen roll can mop up everything (BEAT) including evil!

Weaknesses.

1 Meat.
2 Daffodils.

A man that can shit a house for the homeless.

"Perfect Punctuation & Great Grammar Guy!"

Didn't there used to be a load of them on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Incontinence Boy

Mandrill - Part Man, Part Black & Decker.

Coal man.

Powers:
Has significant power relative to providing localised living-room warmth. Un-crushes diamonds in the palms of his hands turning them into lumps of coal.

Weakness:
Always leaves a mess on your rugs.

Supersmashinggreatman

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Jim Bowen!

Aaron Man

Forever Clark Kent no matter how hard he tries to unbutton his shirt to reveal Superman.

Weakness:
Zooois Lane

Kryptonite:
Frankie Rage

;)

Kat-man-do-do

A man with mutant cat powers from South East Asia.

His only power, leaving large cat turds on walls near supervillains.

Which annoy the hell out of them.

Suberbman. Like Superman only way better.

Super-trooper man.

Superman's Swedish brother.

Only Child

Spoilt and reluctant to share things

Flash Norden.

Pokes fun at other superhero mishaps.

Flightless bird man.

Pile O' Piss.

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