British Comedy Guide

Reasons to murder people Page 7

Yup, you can use that or "For Narnia!".

I don't mind the old women on buses. But with the newer buses, the seats are only wide enough for 1.5 people, so if you end up on the same seat as some fat bastard in recline, that makes for an unpleasant ride.

Quote: chipolata @ October 23 2008, 3:50 PM BST

Is anybody ever really immersed in their paper or book? Or are they just pretending in the hope of avoiding human interaction?

Have you ever been on public transport in London?

Quote: zooo @ October 23 2008, 3:54 PM BST

Does that mean the same as 'Back of the net'?

It sounds like a truly inspired orgasmic yell.

"EXCELSIORRRRRRRRRR!"

Down here, we say "Get in!".

It's open to interpretation, use it how you see fit.

Some may use it when finishing a particularly tricky sudoku puzzle, others when ejaculating on a pretty girl's face...whatever works for you :)

Stan Lee used to sign off with it in his Marvel comics articles.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at large. @ October 23 2008, 4:04 PM BST

Down here, we say "Get in!".

I hate this phrase because it's the sort of thing Patrick McGuinness says.

It speaks highly of you too Chip ;)

Quote: Aaron @ October 23 2008, 3:39 PM BST

No, it's saying "no one's sitting here at the moment, so I'm not going to hold a huge bag on my lap when there's a more than adequate empty space right next to me which can be used until someone gets on".

I would imagine that people generally want to stab me in the head anyway.

It doesn't necessarily put an emphasis on you though. Most people who put their bags on an empty seat move them before anyone has to ask.

In NewYork there's a big on the spot fine for occupying 2 seats, including puting your bag on it.

But women can travel on their underground topless.

A good rule of thumb is some one should be able to sit with out asking you directly.

e.g. it's ok to put your bag on the seat if you're near the back and there are other free seats.

People who choose to sit next to you when there are other free seats are shitbags.

All of them.

If they choose to speak to you they're kryptonite mega shit bags.

People who tell you to smile in the streets,

"e.g. cheer up it might never happen,"

there's not a terrible enough torment in hell, for people that evil.

Quote: sootyj @ October 23 2008, 5:51 PM BST

People who choose to sit next to you when there are other free seats are shitbags.

Agreed.

Quote: sootyj @ October 23 2008, 5:51 PM BST

People who tell you to smile in the streets,

"e.g. cheer up it might never happen,"

there's not a terrible enough torment in hell, for people that evil.

So true. Laughing out loud

People who are "wacky" these include people who,

1 Have named teddy bears that weren't from childhood.
2 Say they're high on life.
3 E-mail jokes.
4 Have a posters of cute animals in a working environment.
5 Talk in a twee high pitched voice.
6 Don't understand why you stab them.
7 Hug or smile needlessly.
8 Laugh at nothing.
9 Call people darling, lover or sweetie who they've never met. They maybe a phecophiliac rapist, is that really a lover?
10 Go on about how naughty a f**king biscuit is!
11 Work places should be universally miserable pits of sadness. All else is hypocritical and confusing.

All of these apply equally to people of any gender.

I do have number 1 I'm afraid.
A polar bear named Boris (Johnson).
Sorry. :)

Sounds like you've got Ruby on at least 9 of those.

Quote: sootyj @ October 23 2008, 6:19 PM BST

People who are "wacky" these include people who,

1 Have named teddy bears that weren't from childhood.
2 Say they're high on life.

6 Don't understand why you stab them.
7 Hug or smile needlessly.

All of these apply equally to people of any gender.

Whistling nnocently

I'll have you know the teddies all have back stories. I have a bunny called David for example who used to drum in a band with Hendrix before being sent to rehab for an addiction to Persil. He now works in a youth hostel and lives with his gay lover, Nigel, a toy monkey.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ October 23 2008, 6:31 PM BST

Whistling nnocently

I'll have you know the teddies all have back stories. I have a bunny called David for example who used to drum in a band with Hendrix before being sent to rehab for an addiction to Persil. He now works in a youth hostel and lives with his gay lover, Nigel, a toy monkey.

You been watching to much Rik and Steve.

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