Lots of new people on the forum, thought I'd give my short film Voices another airing.
Have a little watch if you fancy it:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=x2g1mkbLVJ0
Let me know any thoughts.
New Short Film - Voices
Stuart
Very well made, directed and I liked the music too. It has a real pro look to it. I'm not sure about the voice and delivery of your main character though. A bit am-dramy. To me this element feels not as "pro" as all the rest of the piece. Maybe it just needed a few re-takes on some of the lines because in fairness it's not all delivered terribly badly, just a few phrases here and there that to my ear are a bit sing-songy.
And I'm also not sure about how funny it (the script) is but of course it may not be intended as an out and out comedy as such.
It has bags of atmosphere and the idea of voices that pop into our heads is a strong one...but
I felt that for whatever reason that this does not ultimately deliver a whole from the sum of the parts that in themselves are excellent. On one level it really is top drawer but somewhere along the line (I) lose the connection.
Maybe because there is no real resolution except guy gets girl. The voices, although centre stage and integral to the plot, don't in the end steal the show or make some kind of lasting impression.
Maybe I'm over-analysing here.
Good, but for me, lacking that certain je ne sais quoi?
Production, execution and realisation - 11 out of 10 though.
B
Edit
I am concious that this has turned out to be a sort of negative review but I really like this piece overall. It's just I seem to have a funny way of showing it - this probably speaks more about the piece than it does me.
I echo BLENKS on the fantastc production, execution & realisation.
Beautifully acted. I enjoyed it.xxxx
Mr Shoepie Charley? How could you!?
Normally I hate long vids but this was excellent. I'd have still clipped a minute or more off some of the longer shots but that is personal taste and not a criticism of an excellent piece.
Can I ask some techie stuff?
What camera are you using?
What software? I assume you edit on a PC.
Are you treating it in anyway to get a film effect?
What are you producing as an output file (pixcels and file format)?
What is the file type and resolution you're uploading to UTube?
Sorry for so many questions but I'm keen to improve the look and feel of my stuff all the time.
I gave it a 5 star, and well deserved.
Quote: Blenkinsop @ June 22, 2007, 8:54 PMMr Shoepie Charley? How could you!?
Sorry Blenk. I just read a thread from him & I was being thick. I will change it right now. How dare I eh!xxxx
Charley, You've made my last post redundant. And it had a wife and three kids to support!
Sorry Stuart! I always hate when a thread containing some of my serious work gets hijacked by piffle.
After Slags A's comments I feel a bit mean - but I'm coming at this from the angle of a punter, not a fellow film-maker. It is good but it just lacks something for me that I think maybe a sharper script would have overcome and made megamungous.
No, Blenk, you made some excellent points.
As cinema it is great but I'd personally be terrified of the large gaps and the long duration of some of the shots but that's partly due to the confidence with a camera that Stuart demonstrates. He has a control of musical ambience, image, and lighting, that I envy. Whereas I want to get in, deliver, and get out because I'm more afraid of losing the audience.
It held me for 8 mins so it must have been excellent but I don't think it was intended as comedy alone.
I'll agree with Blenky, I liked the music, something that's missing from most amateur productions, I think?
It looked very professional, but the voice over didn't convince me somehow.
The ending also fell kind of flat. I almost wanted an evil chuckle from the voice or something?
But this all could be jealousy talking, as I don't have the chance to make my own videos. 
But overall very impressive, as with all of your vids.
Yeah Slag.
It held me for 8 minutes too and I'd normally be hitting the off button before that if I didn't think it had something.
The boy's got talent and (I hate this phrase - I've seen a lot worse) reach our screens.
Sorry Stuart but hopefully you know what I mean.
Leevil, if I understand it, the gruff voice was the voice of the lead character all along. Because you see him speak in that voice on the sofa at the close. The posh voice in his head was the voice he was hearing all along.
Lol, I was too busy admiring the visuals, which can't be a bad thing.
Lol! Ok now I see, very clever! The screen was too dark for me to see his mouth move, poor direction I say.
Are you sure Slag? I've just gone back and watched again and apart from the last "Oh Dear" I'm not convinced. It sort of bleeds in to the last really gruff "Oh dear"
However if you are correct then that puts a very different slant on the script overall and my earlier coments about its lack of sharpness are taken back. I feel we need the author to tell us here what he intended.
As Leevil says the moody lighting makes this unclear and I'm not still not sure.
Author! Author!
Thanks for all your comments, Slag is correct in his analysis of it. The posh voice is the imaginary one all along and the gruff voice is his real voice. This is shown by the repetition of 'Oh Dear' at the end. However the compression seems to have made the image darker than I would have wanted so a few scenes look very dark. And that seems to make the 'Oh Dear' bit more difficult to see. Sorry.
Cheers people
Loved it! All of it!
Just sat back, relaxed and enjoyed it.
I liked the natural sounding voice too.
Beautifully shot and really atmospheric. Excellent.