British Comedy Guide

Terrible jokes Page 8

I dumped my last girlfriend because she kept making jokes about my penis. I know now it was a stupid thing to do, dumping her over something so small.

Laughing out loud

(Classic Jethro)

Alcohol killed my first wife. I came home pissed and shot her.

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that went to a toga party dressed as a goat?

Quote: Wildjesusfishkid @ October 22 2008, 11:11 AM BST

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that went to a toga party dressed as a goat?

No, how did it turn out? I imagine he must have felt quite foolish.

Quote: David Bussell @ October 22 2008, 11:35 AM BST

No, how did it turn out? I imagine he must have felt quite foolish.

It was awful. He was disconsolate. Tragically, he drank so much to numb the pain that he choked on his own Vimto.

Did you here about the guy with dyslexia who went to a toga party?

As he didn't have issues with letter transpositioning he wore a toga.

What's the capital of Iceland?

About £2.40

Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 22 2008, 11:41 AM BST

It was awful. He was disconsolate. Tragically, he drank so much to numb the pain that he choked on his own Vimto.

Oh my word, how awful! My condolences to the family. I had a dyslexic friend who passed on recently, a victim of gnu crime.

Quote: Seefacts @ October 22 2008, 11:56 AM BST

What's the capital of Iceland?

About £2.40

Very good. :)

Quote: David Bussell @ October 22 2008, 11:59 AM BST

Oh my word, how awful! My condolences to the family. I had a dyslexic friend who passed on recently, a victim of gnu crime.

:D

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?

TSHHEYET ICHHSEELLLABRHHGEND UUSRCGGYETSHHH.

Translates as

And thats why mums go to Iceland.

Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 22 2008, 11:41 AM BST

It was awful. He was disconsolate. Tragically, he drank so much to numb the pain that he choked on his own Vimto.

Excellent. Laughing out loud

If it takes 2 to Tango, how many does it take to Fanta?

I'm thinking of inventing a plane with no wings then selling it to plane companies. I know what you're thinking, it'll never take off.

I got 12 watches for my birthday; now I have plenty of time on my hands.

In TK Maxx there's a sign above the till that says "Smart shopers queue here" Does this mean dumb shoppers can shoplift?

Think about my penis, go on, think long and hard.

I went to see Ground Zero in New York. Is it wrong that when I got there all I wanted to do was play Jenga?

Stealing is addictive in the middle east; steal once and you're hooked.

Yatta youze read about the 118 118 thread?

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