British Comedy Guide

Reasons to dislike people. Page 2

Quote: Gavin @ October 21 2008, 9:20 PM BST

Wrong.

Never trusting the government is the knee jerk get out of jail free card for the politically illiterate.

Do you avoid pelican crossings (government won't tell me when it's safe to cross the road).

Or would you refuse to send your kids to school (no indoctrination for my little darlings).

Governments get a lot of stuff right, from employment law to the NHS.

Work out what you dislike and get angry about that!

Quote: sootyj @ October 21 2008, 9:45 PM BST

Governments get a lot of stuff right ... the NHS.

Give up writing comedy now, sooty. You'll never better yourself.

Quote: sootyj @ October 21 2008, 9:45 PM BST

Never trusting the government is the knee jerk get out of jail free card for the politically illiterate.

Do you avoid pelican crossings (government won't tell me when it's safe to cross the road).

Or would you refuse to send your kids to school (no indoctrination for my little darlings).

Governments get a lot of stuff right, from employment law to the NHS.

Work out what you dislike and get angry about that!

Law is corrupt. Government is corrupt to the core intrested in covering their own back and gaining wealth for it's members.

Tony Benn? And however crap Gordy is, has any one ever accused him of lining his pockets?

Quote: Aaron @ October 21 2008, 9:49 PM BST

Give up writing comedy now, sooty. You'll never better yourself.

Why does every one have such a problem with an organisation that provides lots of health care to lots of people?

I mean it's not like we're paying more tax than anyone else?

I mean if you don't like it join BUPA, which is cheaper thanks to NHS subsidising.

Quote: Gavin @ October 21 2008, 9:51 PM BST

Law is corrupt. Government is corrupt to the core intrested in covering their own back and gaining wealth for it's members.

Very Marxist.

People who give an knee-jerk reaction to someone or something that really annoys them.

Those bastards need a good kick in the bollocks!

People that demonise an Afghan woman with a large family for being given a 6 bedroomed house by a London council. Would YOU have taken it if offered? If your answer's yes, kindly shut the f**k up and leave the woman alone. Get angry at the government, not her.

People who demonise single mothers for having large expensive families. Can you show me anything in the lawbooks that says they're doing something illegal? If your answer's "no", kindly shut the f**k up and leave them alone. Get angry at the government.

People who let their three year old kids play outside on their own should be chemically sterilized.

People who sit out on their front lawns / steps in warm weather when they have a perfectly good back garden.

People who wear gold in any form other than a wedding ring.

People who wear fur.

People that treat your half of a conversation as a convenient pause to plan what they're going to say next.

People who have that Geography teacher spittle in the corners of their mouths.

People that won't f**k off and leave me alone when I'm in a bad mood / ill.

People that act like I've just told them I have cancer when I tell them I'm diabetic.

People that pester me to test THEIR blood sugar too when I'm doing the fingerprick test on my glucose machine.

People that think being self employed is a cushy number.

People that don't know when to leave your house.

People that don't know when to shut up.

People that can't sense they're pissing you off.

Andi Peters.

People that flaunt their wealth in tacky ways.

People that hate Christmas.

People with no sense of humour.

Unkind people.

Rude people.

People.

People that aren't me.

Lee you've jsut been bigging up your leather jacket.

And where as I don't celebrate Christmans, I don't mind it.

But come on the annual farago of shit telly, massive expenditure and queezy pseudo religious sentiment yuck! This is Xmas, when even the mulled spice toilet duck makes your shit smell of Xmas.

Quote: Lee Henman @ October 22 2008, 1:11 AM BST

People that demonise an Afghan woman with a large family for being given a 6 bedroomed house by a London council. Would YOU have taken it if offered? If your answer's yes, kindly shut the f**k up and leave the woman alone. Get angry at the government, not her.

People who demonise single mothers for having large expensive families. Can you show me anything in the lawbooks that says they're doing something illegal? If your answer's "no", kindly shut the f**k up and leave them alone. Get angry at the government.

People who let their three year old kids play outside on their own should be chemically sterilized.

People who wear fur.

People that treat your half of a conversation as a convenient pause to plan what they're going to say next.

People that won't f**k off and leave me alone when I'm in a bad mood / ill.

People that flaunt their wealth in tacky ways.

People that hate Christmas.

People with no sense of humour.

Unkind people.

Rude people.

\O/

Quote: sootyj @ October 21 2008, 9:16 PM BST

1 Middle aged guys who do voluntary work, or charity work or what ever. Just so they can get close to younger women and be sleazy. Met way to many of them.

2 People who hate learning, especially in schools etc.

3 People who say stupid things and then repeat. Before eventually saying, that's what I believe.

4 People who believe in ghosts, angels, and any other variety of silliness. But don't believe in religion or any other none narcissistic belief system.

5 People who believe in numb brained, moronic conspiracies. Americans landed on the moon, it was a great way of sneakily spending billions on missile research you numbskulls! MMR does not give your kids Autism! But not having it will lead to a resurgence of measles, which may kill them or give them brain damage!

Some times you can trust the government.

I agree 100%. Except I'm a middle-aged guy who just applied to do volunteer work at the USO. My intention isn't to pick up girls, but rather to help the soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who pass through the airport in this military city. I'm bored and have plenty of free time to contribute to a worthy cause.

As for the Moon, India will be launching their unmanned mission in about 10 minutes and my company will be supporting the launch. This is supposed to be the website for streaming video of the launch:

http://www.isro.org/brodcast.htm

Quote: Leevil @ October 22 2008, 1:27 AM BST

People that aren't me.

Pirate ? WALK THE PLANK!

Aparently it's full of some highly valuable helium derivative, war on the moon yay! We can see if Elvis and the man in the moon have WMDs.

I've done loads of voluntary work over the years and it's the recalcitrant minority I'm thinking of.

Like one guy who on a play scheme, after a week of not getting his end away went berzerk.

He chased 3 kids up a tree with a stick and stood underneath it screaming incoherently.

Quote: sootyj @ October 22 2008, 1:49 AM BST

Aparently it's full of some highly valuable helium derivative

Not to mention all that cheese!

People who wear humongous, colourful trainers. Like a pair of orange and purple Nike Air Max or some shit like this:

Image

People who ask you a conversational question but then don't bother listening to the reply.

People who don't know the difference between "you're" and "your".

Parents of little boys with long hair like this:

Image

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