Alright everyone - If you've got half an hour to burn (or, if you like, 3 lots of ten minutes to burn) then I've got a complete pilot sitcom for you have a look at. (it's ok to post links to Youtube right?). All I'll say is that it gets better towards the end and it's not exactly how we wanted but you know how it is with deadlines and all....
Cheers! --- http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MLqCoauvwlQ
Well I've seen episode one, and it's very slick and professional.
Good jokes, strong characters, it's funny and it's got an ace central premise/setting.
It felt like watching an idea for Comedylab.
That said some of the intros to jokes could be clearer (e.g. the Dr's a great joke, but I think it would have worked better if we knew he was coming as a patient).
Also the Cadbury's idea is a nice idea, but could be alot more developed.
Also the plot is a bit linear, one or two subplots with ither characters would make it pacier.
Otherwise though it's one of the best things I've seen in critique.
I have now seen episode 2, where is episode 3?
I thought that was brilliant. Really entertaining and some great lines and laugh out loud moments. If I had one minor criticism it would be that the camera work was bit too busy at times and got a little distracting occasionally but overall I think this is excellent work. Nice one!
Bo.
Cheers for that - It's certainly riddled with issues but I'm glad it made you laugh - here's the link for each part (it was a full 30 minute episode but we had to cut it for youtube...)
Part 1: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MLqCoauvwlQ
Part 2: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xUHlYW0XLeg&feature=related
Part 3: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=95tVnui7InQ
Ta!
There were a few lines which I thought were nice, but none which made me laugh.
One of the main problems was that 8 minutes in, I really wasn't sure what the plot was.
The Brian character reminded me of Geoff Tipps from The League of Gentlemen. In voice mostly.
I think anyone who beats procrasination and gets off their arse to make their script come alive like this deserves a lot of respect.
I agree with the plot issue above however I'm sure you have already viewed it many times and seen potential improvements.
Thanks for sharing.
Ta for your responses - all of them really helpful - We've got a short film up there too which some people prefer to the community workers so, again, if you have a look I'll owe you one.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hq-DTfL5g6Q (part one) http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=325qeUmhB1A&feature=related (part two)