Sketch for feedback

Hood-E: Chris McGuire

A post-apocalyptic world.

Bleached shot of an empty litter strune street. The shot is letter boxed, an American film trailer voice over begins.

VO:

It was a world not unlike our own, where crime reigned and pollution choked the streets. It was a place where one little Robot felt very alone, in a bleak day to day existence...

Cut to close up of a robots feet trudging through the litter filled street, cut to wide to reveal a bad cardboard box style robot walking slowly across the street. He whirrs and clicks as he does...

VO:

The Robot that no one loved had a name...

Cut to the Robot's hand picking up a brick.

VO:

And that name was...

Cut to the Robot pulling a hood over its cardboard head.

VO:

Hood-E...

The Robot throws the brick at a window (out of shot- we hear a crash of breaking glass) The Robot scuttles out of shot and after a moment re-enters shot with armfuls of electrical equipment. Cut to close up of the robot opening a drawer in his chest and emptying the goods into it... he then scuttles off out of shot.

Cut a parked Car, Hood-E scuttles next to the car and starts to fiddle with the car's door handle. An alarm goes off- sending Hood-E scuttling out of shot.

VO:

Hood-E hanging around outside a cinema near you soon.

Welcome to BSG Chris...

This seems more like an introduction to a character than a sketch. You have introduced Hood-E but not enough that is funny has happened yet in my view.

Also, I personally got visions of 'A grand day out' (that Wallace & Grommit thing) when your robot opened up the drawer in his chest...

Anyway, as a Producer for Nickleodeon, you must surely know what is required to make folks laugh, so who am I to say as a humble binman!

Onwards, mate!

Best of luck!

Frankie xxx

Funny little parody Chris; Frankie, I think you may have missed that this is a spoof of 'Wall-E'; the recent animated flick to make a bundle?

Quote: Matthew Stott @ October 19 2008, 4:47 PM BST

Funny little parody Chris; Frankie, I think you may have missed that this is a spoof of 'Wall-E'; the recent animated flick to make a bundle?

View original

I surely did.

I have seen recently 'Hancock' and also 'Death Race' but sadly 'Wall-E' passed me by!

Apologies for my lack of knowledge, us binmen don't get out as much as we used to! It's the bloody paperwork. We spend more time filing reports now than emptying bins.. And to be fair, I doubt if old binmen are likely to be Chris's target audience..

That's a very nice sketch, well put together funny and a good idea.

That said it could have been a lot, shorter.

I'd have had it as visual and one VO line at the end.

A really strong idea can often stand up on it's own.

Thanks for your feedback fellas- I'll attach another couple soon.

C

Quote: sootyj @ October 19 2008, 5:35 PM BST

That's a very nice sketch, well put together funny and a good idea.

That said it could have been a lot, shorter.

I'd have had it as visual and one VO line at the end.

A really strong idea can often stand up on it's own.

View original

Just quoting feels a bit stalkerish.