Paying Your Jews

This is a parody of the three classes sketch I wrote many moons ago (the parody, not the class sketch). Not particularly funny, but is it going too far?

THREE ORTHODOX JEWS ARE STOOD IN A LINE ON STAGE

MAN 1
Three Jewish men are in a bagel house enjoying a bagel and being Jewish.

MAN 2
The first Jewish man turns to the other Jews and says: I've got a confession to make. I'm disabled. I'm a registered dyslexic – I got a cheap computer through school and got 15 minutes extra at the end of exams.

MAN 3
The second Jewish man turns to the other Jews and says: I've got a confession to make. I'm gay. I frequently have anal sex with other men, and I really like it.

MAN 1
The third man turns to the other Jews and says: Whilst we're on the subject of confessions, I've got something to say. I'm a Nazi informant and I've got a couple of phone calls to make.

That really is a poor joke.

You manage to mix up 3 offensive elements with out actually getting a meaningful punchline.

It sounds rather like you misheard a rather better and very old joke I'll PM you it if you like.

Yes, I'd appreciate that. And what an achievement, three offensive elements! Maybe I should have gone for the safer version and had one of them as a Marxist

I think Bernard Manning nailed it better with:

My friends what you'd call an unorthodox Jew. He's a Nazi.

Yes, that's a great joke in spite of the source.

That's the thing about Manning. He was a great gag writer. He just used his powers for evil. A supervillain of comedy.

Quote: Winterlight @ October 17 2008, 3:40 PM BST

I think Bernard Manning nailed it better with:

My friends what you'd call an unorthodox Jew. He's a Nazi.

View original

Now that's funny, I hated Bernard's racism but loved his joke telling.

The actual joke is,

3 Jews are sitting in a cafe in 1943 Berlin,

JEW1

I've got 2 confessions I'm a Jew, and 2 I've been having an affair with your wife.

JEW2

I've got 2 confessions I'm a Jew, and I cheated you out of 5,000 Reichmarks at poker.

JEW3

I've got 2 confessions I'm not a Jew, and you guys are worth 500 Reichmarks when I hand you in.

It's not a very good joke at the best of times. But the punch is the 3rd guy confess's to not being a Jew.

That is scarily similar to mine. How can two people stumble across the same turd?

It's an oldie, jokes work on familiarity and social norms.

So it's not at all uncommon for them to be surprisingly similar.

That said some times very old jokes get lodged in the subconcious.

Yes, perhaps that's it. Anyway, I can post my other sketch - it's about a dead parrot.

But conceptually you do have on a practical level to many conflicts for it to convince from the get go.

If this is Nazi Germany why on earth are they being Jewish publically? When they're in hiding.

Why is one of them in 1940s Germany talking about getting a computer or even dyslexia?

Are people that shocked by gayness any more, and why does he need to describe his rather normal sounding sex life.

Come to think of it one of them's gay and the other one's dyslexic I'm puzzled by why those would be shameful. As oposed to gambling, visiting prostitutes, having affairs, being a crook etc.

It's these kind of details that suspend the believability a good sketch needs.

Quote: Griff @ October 17 2008, 3:45 PM BST

That's the thing about Manning. He was a great gag writer. He just used his powers for evil. A supervillain of comedy.

View original

And an amazing gag teller. The maddening thing was he was as funny when he was doing jokes about gulls.

Yes. Lets just say, as a historian, I was trying to highlight the plight of other 'undesirables' - gays, disabled people etc - who have been pushed out of the eye of history. Or maybe it was just shit.

Good title though.

Orange Jews

Tie it in with the Irish situation.

Actually, that reminds me. A friend of mine had an Irish girlfriend years ago and he went to visit her folks over there. Her dad was very politically minded and he asked him: "What do you think of the Irish situation?" and my friend replied, "What situation?"

Even after 30 years he hadn't heard about the IRA.