1a) EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY
TEENAGER 1:
Mate, I've got two babies in incubators. I'll swap one for the dude with the lumpy neck.
TEENAGER 2:
The lumpy neck's pretty rare. If you throw in the lungs, you've got a deal.
TEENAGER 1:
Yeah, alright then. Deal?
TEENAGER 2:
Deal. These new cigarette packs are wicked, I've almost got a full set now.
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1b)
EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY
TEENAGER 1:
Mate, I've got two babies in incubators.
TEENAGER 2:
I've got a lumpy neck.
TEENAGER 1:
Yeah? Well, I've got two diseased lungs.
TEENAGER 1:
Oh, I don't have one of those.
TEENAGER 2:
Give you one of mine, if you give me the dead body.
TEENAGER 1:
Yeah, alright then.
TEENAGER 2:
Deal. These new packets are sick, I've almost got a full set now!
TEENAGER 1:
Yeah, way better than POGS. AND you get free cigarettes with ‘em.
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1c)
INT. CARE HOME-DAY
GRANDFATHER AND TEENAGER ARE SITTING TOGETHER.
GRANDPA:
In my day cigarettes were cool, son, all the film stars smoked. Hell, we all smoked. Course, we didn’t know they were bad for us then. Everyone was at it. They used to come with cards then, they did, my friends and I used to collect them. They were beautiful, really lovely designs. Course now, son, all you get is warning messages, don’t you? “Cigarettes may cause lung cancer” and all that, eh? Just not the same.
TEENAGER:
Aw, get with the times, Gramps, we’ve got pictures too.
GRANDPA (DREAMILY):
Yes, if I’d have kept them they’d be worth a fortune now…What?! They’ve brought them back? Here, boy, let your old man have a look.
THE TEENAGER PULLS A CIGARETTE PACKET FROM HIS POCKET AND HANDS IT TO HIS GRANDPA, WHO HANDLES IT LOVINGLY, TURNING IT OVER IN HIS HANDS. HE RETRIEVES HIS GLASSES FROM AROUND HIS NECK PUTS THEM ON, EXAMINING THE PACKET.
GRANDPA LOOKS SHOCKED:
What’s this?! These aren’t the cards. These are (BEAT) horrible.
TEENAGER:
Nah, they’re alright, me and my mates collect them. Look, this one’s well arty, black lungs and that, and this one looks a bit like you, hehe.
WE SEE IT’S A PICTURE OF A GREY, DEAD BODY WITH ITS FACE COVERED WITH A WHITE SHROUD.
SEE GRANDPA’S HORRIFIED, SCARED FACE. HIS FINGERS ARE TREMBLING. HE FUMBLES WITH THE PACKET, AND PULLS OUT A CIGARETTE.
GRANDPA:
Here, son, you got a light? And a scotch. Better make it a double
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2)
Unattended bags will be removed from the station.
INT. TUBE PLATFORM
A QUIET TIME OF DAY, A FEW PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR A TRAIN.
ANNOUNCER (VO):
This is a public announcement. Any unattended bags will be removed from the station.
TWO MEN IN HIGH VISIBILITY VESTS ENTER THE PLATFORM, AND WALK OVER TO A SEAT, WHERE AN OLD, RAGGED-LOOKING WOMAN IS SITTING, HUNCHED. THEY PROCEED TO CARRY THE OLD LADY OUT.
ANNOUNCER (VO):
Thank you for your cooperation.
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TANNOY (VO):
Passengers are asked to stand behind the yellow line.
A MAN IS STANDING ON THE LINE. AN ATTENDANT CLAMPS HIS LEGS TOGETHER IN A BRIGHT YELLOW CONTRAPTION, THEN CARRIES HIM OFF.
TANNOY (VO):
Thank you for your co-operation.
There are delays on the Piccadilly line, Northern line, Circle line, Hammersmith and City line, Jubilee line and Central line. All other lines are working normally.(BEAT) Except the Docklands Light Railway, but who works round there now anyway?
For those that still have jobs, there is a rail replacement bus service operating.
TFL wishes you a pleasant journey.
