British Comedy Guide

The Home Secretary's Guide to the Galaxy

Too long to be used anywhere but needed to be long for accuracy's sake.

JACQUI SMITH: Good morning

GORDON BROWN: Er ... Good morning, O Home Secretary. Do you have ... er, that is ...

SMITH: An answer for you Yes. I have.

BROWN: There really is one?

SMITH: There really is one.

BROWN: To Everything? To the great Question of the credit crunch, terrorism and Everything?

SMITH: Yes.

BROWN: And you're ready to give it to us?

SMITH: I am.

BROWN: Now?

SMITH: Now (BEAT) Though I don't think that you're going to like it.

BROWN: Doesn't matter! We must know it! Now!

SMITH: Now?

BROWN: Yes! Now.

SMITH: Alright (PAUSE) You're really not going to like it.

BROWN: Tell us!

SMITH: Alright. The Answer to the Great Question...

BROWN: Yes...!

SMITH: Of the credit crunch, terrorism and Everything...

BROWN: Yes...!

SMITH: Is...

BROWN: Yes...

SMITH: Is...

BROWN: Yes...?!

SMITH: Forty-two days.

BROWN: (PAUSE) We're going to get lynched by the Lords, aren't we?

Ooh that's nice, as a certified comedy/scifi geek I approve this product.

I like it and I don't think it's too long for The Treason Show or NewsRevue - there are a lot of short lines so it's a quick read.

It's doable, but you may need some idiot intro lines.

Maybe Deepthought is the NHS computer Brown pissed 15 billion pounds up the wall on.

Wouldn't hurt to try that Phill. I've been meaning to send them some stuff for ages. And thanks for the tip Sootyj.

cool love to see your stuff on the stage

Yeah, very good. And perfect for Treason/Newsrevue, I'd say.

I hope so - I've just sent it, with a bit of editing.

Lovely. In fact, just had that very idea whilst reading Bad Dog's 42 sketch. Though no way would have been as neat as this. Am slightly jealous :P

Must have more than a good chance of getting into the topical shows.

Quote: Rob0 @ October 14 2008, 10:57 PM BST

Must have more than a good chance of getting into the topical shows.

The Treason Show Producer/Director has just emailed me to say he loved the idea. Woo!

I like this one. Nicely executed and funny/relevant. Nice one.

Dan

Quote: Afinkawan @ October 15 2008, 1:22 PM BST

The Treason Show Producer/Director has just emailed me to say he loved the idea. Woo!

Wicked, I thought it would go down well.

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