British Comedy Guide

It...is...ALIVE!

INT - Corner shop. A hunchback is buying cigarettes.

IGOR: ...and a pack of B&H please guv.

SHOPKEEPER HANDS HIM A PACK.

IGOR: No, not those ones, the ones with the picture of the diseased brain on please.

SHOPKEEPER: There you go sir.

CUT TO: INT - mad scientist's dungeon laboratory. He is standing over an operating table with pictures of manky body parts from cigarette packet warnings all stapled together. IGOR looks on.

SCIENTIST: Throw the switch Igor.

IGOR: Yeth Marthter.

IGOR THROWS A SWITCH. ALL SORTS OF ELECTRICAL SPARKS AND EVERYTHING.

SCIENTIST: It...is...ALIVE! MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!!!

CUT TO: EXT - monster made of pictures standing outside holding a cigarette. Mob of villagers with pitchforks and flaming torches approaching castle.

MONSTER LOOKS UP AT ANGRY MOB. POINTS AT FLAMING TORCH.

MONSTER: 'Scuse me mate, have you got a light?

Cut To: ???

Quote: Winterlight @ October 13 2008, 4:10 PM BST

Cut To: ???

Cut to me cack-handedly pressing the wrong button and posting instead of finishing typing the sketch. A rare snapshot of me actually in the process of writing a sketch there.

Quite good I thought although Igor's lisp only appears when he's talking to his marthter.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ October 13 2008, 4:22 PM BST

Quite good I thought although Igor's lisp only appears when he's talking to his marthter.

Yeah, nice touch. Good one, Afinkawan.

So when Igor is out and about meeting the general public he speaks normally then? Right.

That's how I read it. Afinkawan might have a different perspective on this.

That's basically what I intended. I don't know if it works or just seems out of place though.

I like it. It gives the sketch a bit of depth. Especially if he's fairly working class and ordinary-sounding in the outside world, and Eastern European and lisping back at the castle.

Very good simplify it and NR will gobble it up, if that's your wish.

I liked the way you really pulled the ideas out and it's funny.

I really must get round to trying to send some stuff to TS and NR one of these days.

Well that one could certainly work if you simplified it and made it stage friendly.

One of the best takes I've seen on the subject.

Something like this? I've never tried writing for the stage before.

IGOR IS CUTTING UP A CIGARETTE PACKET WITH SOME SCISSORS.

SCIENTIST: Did you manage to get one with a warning picture of a diseased brain on it Igor?

IGOR: Yeth marthter.

HE HANDS THE SCIENTIST THE PICTURE HE HAS JUST CUT OUT. THE SCIENTIST GOES TO A TABLE UPON WHICH IS A CLOTH COVERING THE PROP. HE STAPLES THE BRAIN TO WHAT IS UNDER THE CLOTH, WHIPS THE CLOTH OFF.

SCIENTIST: IT...IS...ALIIIVE!! MUAH-HA-HA-HAAAAA!

HE HOLDS UP A FRANKENSTEIN STYLE MONSTER MADE OF CUT UP PICTURES OF BODY PARTS.

Yeh they'll probably dick around with it further to make it simpler.

But I reckon they'd go for that.

I'll try to remember to email them when I get home.

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