My eyes just started stinging.
General, General Thread Page 1,420
Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 13 2008, 8:57 AM BSTHave you tried cocaine? I'm told it's a cracking pick-me-up.
Cocaine completely loses its lovely effects if you confuse it with grape sugar. So I'm told.
I've just signed a paper in which I assert that there is no brothel, night club, sex shop and/or carcass utilisation plant in my house and/or located within 10 metres of my flat.
I also had to confirm the following statement:
"It is a permanently occupied risk."
Why?
Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 13 2008, 10:42 AM BSTWhy?
To get my flat insured. I suspect those insurance people are just taking the piss. Bless them and their sad bureaucratic lives.
You didn't have to sign any agreements not to undertake any situationist art installations, did you?
Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 13 2008, 10:52 AM BSTYou didn't have to sign any agreements not to undertake any situationist art installations, did you?
Nope. But I'm not allowed -be it as a means of artistical expression or for ideological or in fact nostalgic reasons- to replace the existing roof with one made of reed, straw and/or wood. 
Gotta love those people. Seeerious case of Three Little Pigs trauma...
It seems a shame that dannyjb1's status is 'banned', along with the spammers and Skibbington "I love cancer, me" von Skubber. Aaron, can't you make his status "Removed for his own good?"
No.
Quote: Aaron @ October 13 2008, 12:34 PM BSTNo.
Next on the agenda. Heavy petting, how much is too much? 
What she knees you in the bollocks, you've gone too far.
Quote: Aaron @ October 13 2008, 12:45 PM BSTWhat she knees you in the bollocks, you've gone too far.
I see that's where I was going wrong I thought that meant, "I'm ready for intercourse"
Quote: Gavin @ October 13 2008, 12:51 PM BSTI see that's where I was going wrong I thought that meant, "I'm ready for intercourse"
You sure you're not going wrong using phrases like "I'm ready for intercourse?"
Yer, that's not a good one.
How about "babe, you're gorgeous... now let's DO IT!" ending with a punch in the air.