We all have weird stuff going on our lives but can we see ourselves actually inside the premise for a show. I mean, do you work in petrol station where your boss once played for Sheffield Wednesday but now has an ambition to go on the X-Factor. Has a rat come out from the kitchen of your local take-away and the owner tried to pass it off as a pet. What experience have you had that would have been more at home in a sitcom script.
Mine would probably relate to my meeting with a drunk Glaswegian Eric Cantona look-a-like.
Full story here: http://crustynomad.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/strangers-my-meeting-with-a-drunk-glaswegian-eric-cantona-lookalike/
Basically I was stranded at Edinburgh train station at 11.00pm during the festival with no bed for the night. It was here I met a guy I shall call Eric...
He was a Glaswegian with an accent so broad it was as thick as porridge. What's more he was roaring drunk. He was in a very good mood but he didn't expect it to last as his wife had wanted him home six hours previously.
Asking me of my plans I told him of the cock-up I'd made with my accomodation and immediately he was full of concern. "Ya canna sleep here pal! Comes back w'me to Glasgee!" and before I knew it I was on a train trundling across central Scotland.
Eric - I call him that as I never did discover his name - was by now really flagging after a long day in the ale houses of Edinburgh. He drifted in and out of consciousness and I began to wonder exactly what I'd let myself in for. I woke him up when we arrived in Glasgow and we made our way to the station taxi rank and piled into the back. This is where it got really silly.
The driver asked where we were headed and Eric just couldn't answer - he just laughed and shrugged as if he'd never before been to the city. Me and the driver exchanged glances. I couldn't help obviously and we were within five seconds of being kicked out before Eric regained some sanity and remembered where he lived and we were on our way.
I had absolutely no clue as to where I was other than in Scotland's largest and most patriotic city with a drunk who would probably soon decide that spending time with Englishman was a bad idea and subsequently knee me in the groin.
Eventually we came to an apartment block in a nice part of town. Looking back I was lucky here because I could've ended up in any old doss house for the night.
We made our way up the stairs to his front door where he turned to me, put a finger to his lips to indicate that I should be quiet. He held his hands up and acted a gentle push towards me as to say that he wanted me to stand around he corner of the stairwell and out of sight. I didn't know whether to laugh or be scared - there was little doubt who was the boss in this household!
He knocked on his own front door - he couldn't find his keys - and shortly after it was opened by his wife in a dressing gown. She was all set to rip into her man with venom but then spotted me which only made matters worse - I was ‘a guest' so she could say nothing so she just turned and went into the bedroom where you could definitely hear the sound of the door being locked.
Eric dismissively waved at the bedroom door before leading me into the lounge which was very nice. I remember a beautiful framed portrait of the whole family, with two gorgeous children, clearly all in happier times than this particular evening.
My inebriated friend just slumped on one sofa and just gestured me over to the other and he was asleep in seconds. As I lay there I wondered how this had all happened. I smiled to myself as I realised that he was probably taking as bigger chance inviting me into his home as I was of accepting his offer. I could've been anybody.
When the sky first started to show signs of daylight I was out the door without a word. Eric was dead to the world and I didn't think his wife would appreciate a wake-up call at 5:00am on a Tuesday morning.
funny stuff.
