INT. AN OFFICE. DAY.
A SMARTLY DRESSED WOMAN IS SAT BEHIND HER DESK. THE DAY CLEANER APPROACHES, CARRYING A MOP AND BUCKET.
CLEANER
You reported a spillage?
WOMAN
Yes, just there.
THE WOMAN INDICATES A STAIN ON THE FLOOR. THE CLEANER INVESTIGATES.
CLEANER
This is blood.
WOMAN
I'm afraid so. Is it going to be difficult to get out of the carpet?
THE CLEANER CATCHES SIGHT OF A PAIR OF FEET POKING OUT FROM BEHIND A FILING CABINET.
CLEANER
And there's a body!
WOMAN
Yes, you couldn't be a dear, could you, and take that away?
CLEANER
I can't do that!
WOMAN
Oh dear, do I need to complete a chitty?
CLEANER
He's been disembowelled with a paper knife!
WOMAN
(RETRIEVING KNIFE) Oops silly me, I wouldn't want that to go out with the trash.
CLEANER
I've got to phone the police!
WOMAN
Ah, do you have authority to access an outside line?
CLEANER
Sorry?
WOMAN
It's a new cost saving initiative, only authorised personnel have direct dial. I would let you use mine, but it would be a security violation.
CLEANER
I don't believe this!
WOMAN
I know, it is very vexing. You will need to get authorisation from your line manager.
CLEANER
I'm contract staff.
WOMAN
Oh dear, you could try the switchboard I suppose…
CLEANER
Right… I'll do that.
WOMAN
…only they can be rather officious.
THE CLEANER VISIBLY SAGS.
CLEANER
I'll just take this down to the bins, shall I?
WOMAN
I should.
THE CLEANER BEGINS DRAGGING THE BODY AWAY.
CLEANER
You couldn't give me a hand with this?
WOMAN
Sorry, but desk staff aren't allowed to do any lifting. Health and safety.
THE WOMAN ROLLS HER EYES. THE CLEANER NODS UNDERSTANDINGLY, AND CONTINUES DRAGGING THE BODY AWAY.
END.
