Hello! Page 2

Quote: Nil Putters @ October 9 2008, 12:06 AM BST

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Yep.

That is the funniest thing I've read in ages!

Genius. Or genuises, I'm not sure.

Welcome back to the Lee's. We have nibbles and chairs with padding... someone ate all the sandwiches.

I'm blonde... easily confused... and big breasted. This is doing nothing for my confuzzled little pea mind.

Quote: EllieJP @ October 9 2008, 9:53 AM BST

I'm blonde... easily confused... and big breasted.

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Marry me?

Would you leave me for a younger model once I hit 25?

Quote: EllieJP @ October 9 2008, 10:07 AM BST

Would you leave me for a younger model once I hit 25?

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Yes.

I mean no! damn, you outfoxed me.

Hello there, Lee Henman. You old smoggie, you.

Quote: Winterlight @ October 9 2008, 10:55 AM BST

Hello there, Lee Henman. You old smoggie, you.

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Hello! *koff*

Quote: Lee Henman @ October 9 2008, 12:02 AM BST

Well, to be honest I was going to go with...f**k it, here's the whole email conversation me and Dave had about a title for our (potential) show. It made me laugh a lot and showed we're both on the same wavelength. I'm sure he won't mind me posting this.

BUSSELL:
...so how about Bussell & Henman?

ME:
Bussell & Henman...hmmm. Nice ring...although I prefer Henman & Bussell. Or Henman & Co. Or just Henman.

BUSSELL:
How about... and hear me out here... "Bussell and Bussell"? After all, everyone loves the word Bussell, so why not let them say it twice?

ME:
I see where you're coming from, truly I do - but let me just run this by you. Okay, picture this...you're watching tv, and the continuity announcer says "And now, for the first time ever in tv history, a comedy show to be broadcast simultaneously across BBC1, 2 and 3...it's the one we've all been waiting for...strap yourself in for 'The Lee Henman Comedyquake Experience! (with a few gags by Dave)"

BUSSELL:
Okay, I see the steak but I'm not detecting much sizzle. Let me run this up the flagpole and see if you salute it:
'Infinite Bussell Overdrive!!!'
I don't think we need ever mention Lee Henman - it's all there in the title if you're paying attention.

ME:
That's nice, and I want to make it clear that I like your train of thinking.
"Infinite" - fantastic. It suggests that this show will run and run, making the Two Ronnies look like "Heil Honey I'm Home".
"Overdrive", again, brilliantly-descriptive, evoking notions of a comedy powerhouse, buzzing and crackling with creative electricity.
The only reservation I have is the other word. The one in the middle. I see the turd but it's not making much of a splash.
I'm thinking "Infinite Henman Big Cock Hot Sauce Comedy Overdrive".
Thoughts?

BUSSELL:
Sure, I'm with you all the way, Lee. 110% in fact. If there's anything at all I'd bring up, and it's such a piffling matter I hesitate to even mention it, it's that second word you've used there. It's got kind of a "Tennisey" vibe don't you think? Not that I'm making criticisms or even suggestions really. It's just that a different word - and I'm pulling one out of a hat at random here - like, say, BUSSELL, I really think could tip us over the edge into a whole new realm of greatness.
So how about this:
"Infinite Bussell Big Cock Hot Sauce Comedy Overdrive minus Lee Henman".

Yes?

ME:
You're a man of good judgement and high-thinking and I obviously take everything on board that you're saying, but I can't help thinking you may have fumbled the ball here.
Look, what I propose is a brand new start. Something to wipe the slate clean that's simple, hot, punchy, totally descriptive and memorable.
So. How about "Lee And The C**t"?

BUSSELL:
Hmmm.

Lee, you're clearly a man of impeccable taste with a terrific fragrance and a sexual stamina that would put a rutting bullock to shame, but if I feel as though you may have typed that last suggestion a little haphazardly.
Okay, clearly you're stuck on this 'Lee' business, and for the purposes of moving forward I'm prepared to concede the point, but surely this is what you were really gunning for:
'Lee is a C**t and Bussell is Skill'
Am I right?

I've lost the rest.

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There were something like ten more pages to this discussion. I believe the title we settled on in the end was 'Bussell and Henman go to the abattoir, Bussell comes home on his own.'

How about "The Two Wankers"?

Quote: Aaron @ October 9 2008, 12:06 PM BST

How about "The Two Wankers"?

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How about shut up?

How about "Splitting Hairs"?

It's a masked compliment, attempting to quash the rumours of your impotence.