"I mean have you seen the people in room six? They've never even sat on chairs before"
(after Sybil asks if he is still here) "No, I went a couple of minutes ago, dear, but I expect I'll be back soon"
"He must be the bravest orang-utan in Britain...that type would wear a dog turd round its neck if it was made of gold"
"Easier to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce than a walnut in this bloody kitchen!"