Don't Take Old People to Restaurants

Trust me, don't do it, I did it yesterday. An elderly neighbour of mine didn't have a cooker yesterday as her one is broken and the new one wasn't being delievered until today. She's been good to me over the last few years, so I took her out to Harry Ramsden's fish restraunt yesterday. We sat down and there is a black man on the table opposite eating fish. At which point she said really loud 'They Like Fish Don't They Black People' He looked over and I have never been so embarrased in all my life. Thankfully he didn't say anything.

LOL

That made me laugh so much. Classic.

That's brilliant.

Like when we went on holiday with my grandparents. To Germany.

Quote: Jack Massey @ September 22 2008, 10:08 PM BST

Trust me, don't do it, I did it yesterday.

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Oh yes?

Quote: Jack Massey @ September 22 2008, 10:08 PM BST

An elderly neighbour of mine didn't have a cooker yesterday as her one is broken and the new one wasn't being delievered until today. She's been good to me over the last few years,

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Is that like in a Little Britain way?

Quote: Jack Massey @ September 22 2008, 10:08 PM BST

I took her out to Harry Ramsden's fish restraunt yesterday.

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Is that a euphemism?

Jack your story really made me laugh!

Quote: Aaron @ September 22 2008, 10:12 PM BST

That's brilliant.

Like when we went on holiday with my grandparents. To Germany.

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Oh dear. That's like going to a Bar Mitzvah with Bernard Manning.
And no, it is not like a Little Britain thing. Just good neighbours, she cooks for me some nights and I sometimes pop round with a four pack of Boddington's and share them with her husband Eddie.

My mate told me he went to visit his nan, and she sat him down and wanted some advice as she'd found her 82 year old boyfriend wanking in the kitchen and didn't know what to do about it.

What on earth do you say????

Quote: EllieJP @ September 22 2008, 10:22 PM BST

My mate told me he went to visit his nan, and she sat him down and wanted some advice as she'd found her 82 year old boyfriend wanking in the kitchen and didn't know what to do about it.

What on earth do you say????

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Ask if he'd run out of kitchen roll.

Don't be a practical joker and do it in the milk bottle.

The first story got a laugh out loud, the kitchen one was all to much a side effect of brain injury/insult. Either that or it's a good none verbal way of asking some one to leave.

n.b. Aaron no where near enough details.

Quote: David Chapman @ September 22 2008, 10:14 PM BST

Is that a euphemism?

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I remember years ago being in the Cromer pier cafe with my mum and dad and this guy leant over from a nearby table to take the salt without asking.

Can't say it bothered me too much as it was just cafe but it really wound my dad up. At regular intervals he'd loudly say things like: 'Hold tight to your purse love, he'll have that as well.'

Another time we were in a Little Chef and the waitress asked if he wanted a tea or coffee. He said 'Tea please because your coffee is awful.'

Haha, ace!

I'd have made similar comments re the salt, BTW.

Very good. But I agree embarrasing.
I used to be a home carer & some of the things the old people used to come out with were outrageous.
I had one old woman who called me a lesbian all the time. "Dont touch me there, you lesbian" (It was her arm). "Your enjoying this arent you, you lesbian. She thought all us carers were getting off on getting her ready for bed. she once called the office & demanded to know why they only employed Lesbians.
The office told her that they employ carers on their experience not on their sexual connotations & apparently she replied "Well can I have an unexperienced lesbian next time".

I actually found that lady dead one morning & bless her that nighty of hers was up around her waist. All I could think about was "Dont look you lesbian".

oh man gold. I would be pretty embarrassed too.