Identity Parade Short

INT. POLICE IDENTITY PARADE. DAY.

A MONK AND A POLICE INSPECTOR OBSERVE AN EMPTY IDENTITY PARADE ROOM THROUGH REFLECTIVE GLASS.

INSPECTOR:
Ready?

MONK NODS.

INSPECTOR (into intercom system):
Send them in, constable.

FOUR MEN IN UNIFORM BUSINESS ATTIRE MARCH INTO THE PARADE ROOM AND LINE UP. THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY A FELLOW DRESSED AS A VIKING.

INSPECTOR:
Now Brother, can you identify the man who pillaged your monastery?

FIN.

* * * * *

Undecided: Should the inspector's last line come before the suspects enter, or should it stay as is?

Nice. Personally I'd have the line before.

Very good visual joke.

That said I'd keep the monk silent, and have the viking go berserk

This is a f**king setup, I never pillaged no one, where's my lawyer?!

Also if you make the second to last person black it's more of a surprise punch.

Will do, Nigel.

Joel: your ideas are hilarious. I like the black idea, but an Arab with a hint of zealotry might be more original? It also means I can claim to have used your suggestion broadly, but not down to the last detail.

Giving...

VERSION TWO:

INT. POLICE IDENTITY PARADE. DAY.

A MONK AND A POLICE INSPECTOR OBSERVE AN EMPTY IDENTITY PARADE ROOM THROUGH REFLECTIVE GLASS.

INSPECTOR:
Ready?

MONK NODS.

INSPECTOR (into intercom system):
Send them in, constable.

INSPECTOR:
Now brother, can you identify the man who pillaged your monastery?

THREE MEN IN UNIFORM BUSINESS ATTIRE MARCH INTO THE PARADE ROOM AND LINE UP. THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY A MUSLIM CLERIC. LASTLY, A MAN DRESSED AS A VIKING ENTERS.

FIN.

--------------------

My feeling is Sooty's and Nigel's suggestions take it in contrasting and improving directions, though this attempts to amalgamate them.

Good stuff good to see you're keeping original intent.

Quote: sootyj @ September 19 2008, 5:19 PM BST

Good stuff good to see you're keeping original intent.

View original

I'll certainly keep an intention of originality.

Quote: Tommy Power @ September 19 2008, 5:41 PM BST

I'll certainly keep an intention of originality.

View original

That's the problem with law students Yeah, nice one Tommy!

I like it.

Lovely.
I think I preferred it when the line was after. Especially since Muslim clerics aren't really known for pillaging.

Quote: Eggie @ September 21 2008, 11:45 PM BST

Lovely.
I think I preferred it when the line was after. Especially since Muslim clerics aren't really known for pillaging.

View original

Former point noted; latter point agreed with.

How about?

INSPECTOR:
Ready?

MONK NODS.

INSPECTOR: (into intercom system):
Send them in, constable.

FOUR MEN DRESSED AS VIKINGS MARCH INTO THE PARADE ROOM AND LINE UP. THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY A FELLOW DRESSED IN BUSINESS ATTIRE.

INSPECTOR:
Now Brother, can you identify the man who sold you the fraudulent insurance policy?

FIN

* * * * *

(I can speak French too)

Quote: Morrace @ September 22 2008, 6:50 AM BST

How about?

INSPECTOR:
Ready?

MONK NODS.

INSPECTOR: (into intercom system):
Send them in, constable.

FOUR MEN DRESSED AS VIKINGS MARCH INTO THE PARADE ROOM AND LINE UP. THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY A FELLOW DRESSED IN BUSINESS ATTIRE.

INSPECTOR:
Now Brother, can you identify the man who sold you the fraudulent insurance policy?

FIN

* * * * *

(I can speak French too)

View original

That would make an excellent "Part 2".

I can't speak French, Morrace. I just finish with "FIN" to make me look like an individual, and not the sad, pretentious, deluded clone I truly am.

Quote: Tommy Power @ September 22 2008, 7:11 AM BST

I just finish with "FIN" to make me look like an individual, and not the sad, pretentious, deluded clone I truly am.

View original

Your clever sketch is enough to make you stand out as an individual.

Aah now this is turning into a fine runner.

5 bearded homosexuals in a line up, a bear is next.

Who's been sleeping in your bed?

5 Oriental guys with T shirts saying "I'm from Thailand," standing with their sons, all who are wearing T shirts saying "He's my dad,"

Mike Tyson walks in and screams it's a setup.

Quote: sootyj @ September 22 2008, 9:58 AM BST

5 bearded homosexuals in a line up, a bear is next.

Who's been sleeping in your bed?

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