Naturewatch- Sketch

Would appreciate your comments.

EXT. GRASSY NATURE RESERVE. DAY.

WE ARE AT A NATURE RESERVE ABOUT TO OBSERVE SOME RARE SPRING FLOWERS WITH OUR NATURE EXPERT, BILL.

Bill
This ancient chalk grassland has been managed for centuries and as a result, plays host to a variety of wild orchids only found at a few locations such as this. Let’s go and have a look.

BILL BEGINS TO WALK AND LOOK FOR ORCHIDS.

Ahh. This is a particularly rare species called a Badger Orchid. If we look a bit closer…

CAMERA ZOOMS IN TO CLOSE UP ON ORCHID.

Bill (V.O.)
… we’ll see that each little flowerlet, looks like a tiny badger.

A WORM, SNAKE OR SLUG CRAWLS INTO THE BACKGROUND WHILE WE ARE ON THE CLOSE UP

Cameraman (O.O.V)
Eurgh what the f**k is that! I hate those things. Get it away.

CAMERA PULLS BACK SHAKILY AND THE SOUNDMAN RUNS UP TO THE ORCHID AND STAMPS LIKE A MANIAC ON THE SLUG, CRUSHING THE ORCHID AND THE SLUG.

Soundman
Disgusting bastards.

Cameraman (O.O.V.)
Is it dead?

Soundman
Yeah I got it.

BILL STANDS THERE NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY.

(To Bill)
They’re poisonous aren’t they? What?

Yeah I think I like it, mainly because I can picture it well. I like the idea of the silence then the soundman carrying on as if it were a normal thing to do, it gets done a lot but when executed well it's an achievement and feels fresh none the less. I think you have executed it well in terms of the writing so that's good. This will also depend on the actual visual performance and timing of delivery. Works well at this stage though.

Thanks for the comment Tom.

Hi WJFK

I like the idea, but you might be better off having Bill mentioning how wildly inappropriate interruptions from outside sources have pushed the Badge orchid to the edge of extinction. Have a line about how important it is that people who come to see it don't mess with the natural habitat in the area.

Then it's sort of a reversal, as well as funny.

Hope this is useful.

Dan

this was funny but can someone explain the last word "WHAT" i dont get it i get the joke but why does he say what i need to penny to drop

id never call anyone ugly.... pretty ugly works just as well.

Quote: Smith Ian @ June 14, 2007, 10:07 AM

this was funny but can someone explain the last word "WHAT" i dont get it i get the joke but why does he say what i need to penny to drop

View original

Ian

I think they're kind of staring at him astounded, prompting the 'What?!'. At least, that's how I understood it. Extra laugh from me just for that, so it works!

Dan

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

now i get it

thanks swerytd