Bad Dream

INT. A PUB - NIGHT

Two men are sat at a table, clearly quite drunk. When they speak they slur their words.

MAN1
I love you you know

MAN2
I love you to mate

MAN1
No, I really love you

MAN2
I know, I know. I really love you to

There is an awkward pause where the two look at each other. Suddenly they grab each other and partake in a passionate kiss. They brake and look at each other again, seeming a bit flustered.

MAN2
I'm going to the toilet

MAN1
I'll meet you in there

Man2 skips off screen. Man1 watches him go as he downs the last of his pint excitedly and then stumbles off after man2.

Cut to.

INT. A BEDROOM - NIGHT

Man1 jolts up in bed, out of breath, covered in sweat and looking a little scared. His wife in bed next to him turns over to look at him.

WIFE
(Sleepily)
What's the matter dear? Bad dream?

MAN1
(Disgustedly)
No. I just remembered what happened at the pub

It's a really good idea, but some how it feels a little awkward.

It's missing some sort of a twist or something

Quote: sootyj @ September 19 2008, 11:32 AM BST

It's a really good idea, but some how it feels a little awkward.

It's missing some sort of a twist or something

View original

I agree. I think you could make it sharper, if you changed the waking up bit.

Maybe a priest who's fallen asleep during confession or something.
Make it someone who'd be a contrast to the gay thing as well as to the getting pissed in a pub bit. Maybe?

Thanks for the feedback. I think you're on to something with the contrasting person Finck. I'll mull it over and see what I can come up with.

Cheers