If it turned out that God does exist..

..what would you say to it/him/her/them?

I'd say, "OK so you're God, so what?"

....

Now I've been accused of apathy but this is not apathy. I think we've had a good enough look around and play with the world by now and if this is God's creation then fair enough, but so what? He doesn't seem to get involved much now does he? And doesn't appear to give a bugger that 25,000 kids die of starvation and disease every day. As the all powerful being, she should be bleedin' ashamed of herself! Selfish bitch!

All the answers you need are to be found in Life of Brian and Small Gods.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ September 17 2008, 2:59 AM BST

..what would you say to it/him/her/them?

I'd say, "OK so you're God, so what?"

....

Now I've been accused of apathy but this is not apathy. I think we've had a good enough look around and play with the world by now and if this is God's creation then fair enough, but so what? He doesn't seem to get involved much now does he? And doesn't appear to give a bugger that 25,000 kids die of starvation and disease every day. As the all powerful being, she should be bleedin' ashamed of herself! Selfish bitch!

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And Frankie we allow 25,000 kids to starve, either that or free will is meaningless.

Freewill includes the ability to make bad decisions and blame it on some supernatural concept.

Frankie, you're not trying to sign us up for an Alpha course are you? I've seen those posters!

"Can you get me Elvis's autograph?"

ME:
So God, is it true to get into Heaven and glory everlasting that I have to live a relatively sin-free life?

GOD:
Yes.

ME:
And is it true that you're all-knowing?

GOD:
That is also true my child.

ME:
Right. So when you created me, you must've known exactly how I was going to turn out, exactly what mistakes and sins I was going to commit, right?

GOD:
Erm...yeeees...

ME:
So what I'm asking is, with the greatest respect, if you already knew how I was going to turn out at the very point I was created, how can that annoy you?

GOD:
I gave you free will to choose your own path.

ME:
And I did. But when you gave me free will did you know what mistakes I'd make throughout my life?

GOD:
Of course. I'm God.

ME:
So why didn't you just cast me into the eternal flames of Hell a second after I was born then? What's the point? Why let me live this pre-ordained existence that can only end in one way... exactly the way you saw it would when I was created?

GOD:
I move in mysterious ways.

ME:
You're not kidding. One more question God.

GOD:
Shoot.

ME:
Katie Price's books are outselling JK Rowling's. What's that all about?

GOD:
F**k knows.

Quote: Perry Nium @ September 17 2008, 10:30 AM BST

ME:
Katie Price's books are outselling JK Rowling's. What's that all about?

GOD:
F**k knows.

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God should have smushed you dead for lying. JK Rowling's book sales dwarf Jordan's.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ September 17 2008, 2:59 AM BST

And doesn't appear to give a bugger that 25,000 kids die of starvation and disease every day.

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They must deserve it.

Quote: chipolata @ September 17 2008, 10:40 AM BST

God should have smushed you dead for lying. JK Rowling's book sales dwarf Jordan's.

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ahem... http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/celebrity-news/272079/shock-jordan-sells-more-books-than-jk-rowling/1/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/entertainment/newsid_7596000/7596534.stm

No, sorry, still don't buy it. And the figures quoted in those articles are next to meaningless. JK Rowling is a global phenomena and has pretty much conquered the rest of the world as well. Coupled with a massive surge in sales whenever a movie is released. Katey Price may well have sold extraordinarily well in this country - which is indeed a sad indictment on today's society - but I don't for a minute believe she has made much of an impact overseas.

Quote: chipolata @ September 17 2008, 11:15 AM BST

No, sorry, still don't buy it. And the figures quoted in those articles are next to meaningless. JK Rowling is a global phenomena and has pretty much conquered the rest of the world as well. Coupled with a massive surge in sales whenever a movie is released. Katey Price may well have sold extraordinarily well in this country - which is indeed a sad indictment on today's society - but I don't for a minute believe she has made much of an impact overseas.

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Right - I kind of didn't say that? I was just making a reference to the madness that Jordan - however briefly - was outselling JK Rowling in the bookshops. That's a fact. Obviously I don't think Jordan has outsold JK Rowling in global terms. That would make me a f**king idiot, wouldn't it?

If there is a God, I reckon he got bored with this game of SimEarth a long time and has probably just forgotten to turn it off in the background. There's probably a really successful, peace-loving parallel dimension somewhere that he's thriving on...

Dan

Quote: Perry Nium @ September 17 2008, 11:21 AM BST

Obviously I don't think Jordan has outsold JK Rowling in global terms. That would make me a f**king idiot, wouldn't it?

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But if you are talking to God, he's going to be thinking in global terms. He's a big picture kind of guy.

GOD

Hmm Perry did you ever read Watchmen?

PERRY

What of it?

GOD

Well Doc Manhattan in there is a character, who can see everything that has happened and will happen in the Universe.

PERRY

So?

GOD

Well just becuase he see's an event doesn't mean he can influence it. I mean if I rewind my copy of Bambi on DVD, doesn't mean I can stop his mum getting shot. If you kicked a cat, that's still your choice. the fact that I am aware of it, created you and created the cat doesn't obviate you of blame.
Further almost all religions share an Eden/fall from grace myth. That is an acceptance that we separate our selves from God's will and our responsible for out actions.

PERRY

But what about Jordan?

GOD

Those are only recent sales, only UK and not reflective of the international book market.
Besides she's got blond hair, and great boobs. Birds with those always get lucky.

NIGEL: God, what's it all about?

GOD: (God takes off a mask and reveals he is John Lydon) What's it all about, they scream and then they shout. Don't ask me cos I don't know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbLktw9QiRk

Quote: sootyj @ September 17 2008, 1:21 PM BST

Besides she's got great boobs.

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Debatable!