Sarah's Law Argument

SARAH'S LAW ARGUMENT by Mikey J

INT. LIVING ROOM. NIGHT.

WOMAN:
Look, I know since you moved in, you've been a great step dad to my baby girl, but I'm sorry. We're going to have to split up.

MAN:
What? Why?

WOMAN:
Well, thanks to Sarah's Law, I did some checking up on you and found out that you used to be a paedophile.

MAN:
What the hell are you on about? I've never been a kiddie fiddler!

WOMAN:
I checked. You once kissed a nine year old girl.

MAN:
Oh, for God's sake. Yes I did. When I was ten.

WOMAN:
Oh, okay then. Well, what about this? The other day, I saw you stealing my daughter's knickers from the washing line.

MAN:
Eh? I was bringing in the washing.

WOMAN:
Ah, but you can't deny this. The other night you had sex in the same house as my baby girl.

MAN:
Yes, I did. I had sex with YOU! For Christ's sake. This is ridiculous. You know I'm not a paedophile.

WOMAN:
Oh, thank goodness. Does that mean we can get married now?

MAN:
Yes.

WOMAN:
Oh, I can't wait. Mr and Mrs Gary Glitter.

END.

That's a good workman like sketch.

But the twist would be better in my view, if he gave away he way Glitter.

Maybe..

Marry me?

I'm not sure.

Please oh come on, come on, come on,, oh shit!

Yeah, or she says: "Ask me to marry you, then."
To which he replies: "Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my... OOPS!"

I was actually inspired by one of your "news headline suggestions" in another thread.

Delighted to hear it.

And a decent sketch, that does what it says well.

That was very good because despite it being absolutely everywhere on the 'comedy circuit' I didn't see the punchline coming. Bit disappointing every time I hear a Gary Glitter joke but this one was strong because the build up.

It reminded me of the bit in family guy when peter says to lois "Well if I'm acting like a child then that makes you a paedophile ... and I don't want to be associated with a paedophile." Or something like that.

I wouldn't mess with it though ... I think its a really good sketch (for radio maybe.)

Cheers Nolan.

Do u mean Glitter is all over the comedy circuit, or Sarah's Law?
(prolly a stoooooopid question)

Not a stupid question ... i meant glitter !

Bit of a Gadd about

Nice sketch, like it!

Good stuff again, Mikey. There are a heap of Gary Glitter sketches I've seen on here. Is he in the news over there or something?

I enjoyed this. I could see which direction it was going in, but the denouement was nicely done.

Quote: Tommy Power @ September 17 2008, 11:29 AM BST

Good stuff again, Mikey. There are a heap of Gary Glitter sketches I've seen on here. Is he in the news over there or something?

View original

No, last I heard he was back in Blighty after being refused entry anywhere else after being released from an Asian jail for shagging 12 year old girls and that was a few weeks ago, but Glitter will be rich-picking for many weeks to come whether or not he's in the news, because of the paedo element.

I'm guessing the slang term for child molester will no longer be nonce... it'll be Glitter.

Oh, and cheers Mr Bandage.