TEACHER IS ADRESSING A CLASS AND INTRODUCING 2 NEW PUPILS.
TEACHER
Settle down class, settle down. Osama put down the kalashnikov, Tracy go to the nurses office if your in labor.
Settle down! Or I'll bring Jamie Oliver back.
That shut you up you turkey twizzled little bastards.
We've got 2 new kids at Jade Goody City Academy, after their school closed down.
Zammo and Pogo from Grangehill.
ZAMMO
Hi I'm Zammo we used to protest against Thatcher, and I was addicted to heroin.
POGO
Till we sang a song about it. Our school was really cool, we had a bully called Gribber he used to put my head in the toilet.
ZAMMO
Aah happy days, what cool school we went to.
TEACHER
Right form two orderly queues. Happy slappers on the left, muggers on the right.