Spider in the Bath

1. INT. LIVING ROOM

TREVOR IS SAT IN FRONT OF THE TELLY POURING HIMSELF A BEER. THE 'MATCH OF THE DAY' THEME IS PLAYING.

MEG (OOV)
Trevor.

TREVOR
What?

MEG(OOV)
There's a spider in the bath.

TREVOR
So? It's only a spider.

MEG (OOV)
Please?

TREVOR
(MUTTERING) Oh, for pity's sake...

HE GETS UP.

CUT TO:

2. INT. TOP OF STAIRS

MEG IS STANDING OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM, WRAPPED IN A TOWEL. TREVOR COMES UP THE STAIRS.

MEG
It is quite a big spider.

TREVOR SHAKES HIS HEAD, AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM, HALF CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. MEG WAITS.

MEG
Trevor?

THERE IS NO REPLY. MEG PUSHES THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN PROPERLY. TREVOR IS WRAPPED IN A COCOON HANGING FROM THE CEILING.

TREVOR
I'll need a glass and piece a cardboard.

MEG GOES TO LEAVE.

TREVOR (CONT.)
Make that quite a big glass.

END.

Simple and good. Guessing somewhat autobiographical

It's a nice sketch, a little too simple maybe?

Maybe. I kind of saw it as a Wrong Door sketch, not very funny but visually impressive.

Maybe change to - 'TREVOR COMES UP THE STAIRS CARRYING A GLASS AND A PIECE OF CARDBOARD' then the final line could be (a la 'Jaws') - 'I'm going to need a bigger glass'.

I rather like that.

This made me giggle.

me too

I could somewhat see the end coming, but it was a pleasant enough sketch.

Quote: Morrace @ September 14 2008, 3:21 AM BST

Maybe change to - 'TREVOR COMES UP THE STAIRS CARRYING A GLASS AND A PIECE OF CARDBOARD' then the final line could be (a la 'Jaws') - 'I'm going to need a bigger glass'.

View original

Excelent exept I'd have the grizzled captain deliver the line sitting on the toilet.

Good visual sketch Timbo.

Quote: Timbo @ September 14 2008, 12:39 AM BST

Maybe. I kind of saw it as a Wrong Door sketch, not very funny but visually impressive.

View original

Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't encourange a series two of that tripe.

I did like the sketch though.

lovely sketch.

I'd finish it with:

TREVOR
I'll need a glass and piece a cardboard.

because it says something about men

Very good. Ignore people who says it's as crap as the Wrong Door.

I'd leave the last line off though.

Good stuff. I really liked the visual imagery at the end with the giant cocoon. For added comedy mileage, I probably would have had Trevor belittle Meg some more about her fear of spiders and make Trevor even more foolhardy.

I probably would have finished with the punchline 'You're right, it is quite a big spider' or words to that effect. If shot right, it could have that Chris Morris 'Jam' style to make it even more creepy.