Stand-up Page 2

Out of curiosity, have you got any lines ready for hecklers?

Thanks for your reactions and encouragement. Stand up doesn't work too well written down as it's all about inter-reaction, delivery, improvisation and lager. Imagine reading a transcript of the legendary Eddie Izzard. So well... Ah-hah... Elehants! Yes - elephants - big...
See what I mean?

Not yet! I've only just started.
Keep laughing

He might do sometimes but I don't think Eddie Izzard improvises. I'm not having ago, huge fan 'n all.

As far as I can tell Mr Izzard has an overall set of ideas in his head and plays with them every night. I caught him twice in the same tour and that seemed to be what he was doing. So it is improvised but it isn't really. If you see what I mean.

It's not heavily scripted.

Hecklers! Well if they said to me "Your F**king Shit" I would say "Thats not a very nice thing to say about my husband".

Quote: charley rance @ June 12, 2007, 2:55 PM

Hecklers! Well if they said to me "Your F**king Shit" I would say "Thats not a very nice thing to say about my husband".

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I thought - What? - then I got it.

Lol, that took me a second to get as well, very nice charley.

Walker you should be as aggressive as possible towards hecklers as they have it coming. The following thread has some good advice for stand ups

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/938

Quote: ajp29 @ June 11, 2007, 11:03 PM

I have it all written out verbatum. I would only go off topic for three reasons, when:

I think of something funny (doesn't happen often)
I am heckled
I am having a nervous breakdown (that does happen often)

Heres an example of what I write down

Have you ever heard women saying that the clitoris is the only organ which is created purely for pleasure. I have two problems with this. Firstly, since when is a clitoris an organ? A heart is and organ, lungs are an organ but a clitoris is not. You don’t see doctors doing clitoris transplants. And if you’re an organ donor you wouldn’t want to get to heaven without a clitoris, you’ll be f**ked. But you wouldn’t feel anything. Secondly I can think of another reason why a clitoris was created. To give young men premature arthritis. You know your with a girl who’s not ready you have to improvise so you use your fingers. Now being inexperienced you never find it but both of you are so embarrassed you spend the next half hour in awkward silence. Then the man leaves and notices his hand is shaking. Then he thinks shit why the f**k did I use my wanking hand.

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Now that was written but I found that funny... but I understand where you're coming from AJP, its harder to imagine.

You're too kind.

Thanks Paul, I haven't tested that bit out loud because I haven't done a slot which is big enough, easy Charley. But I really want to try out the stuff that I've written, i've got about twenty minutes, in a ten minute slot.

OK. Thought I'd chip in a bit. This is obviously to be done in Wales.

WEll. Hello. I've just come back from England. I fancied a smoke. Anyone here think it's a little draconian? Sending people outside to smoke? Ok, those inside don't get passive smoke but us smokers, we're out there getting skin cancer. And when it's cold you don't know when to stop breahting out. It's not easy smoking. They make it harder. You can't smoke anywhere public now. It's going the same way as wanking.

And the idea of making people stop smoking, making those people angry and frustrated and volatile. Then giving them alcohol. That's a good idea. I notice they haven't put a ban on glassing people inside the pub. "There's a fight in the bar" "Is it over tobacco?" "no" "right, let it work itself out"

See, I don't like smoking. I do it to annoy all the people who do. They cough. They wave their hand infront of their faces. The politely ask me not to indulge myself when they are having a swim. I'd love to gice up, but it's the only thing that calms me down. If I gave up, I would get so moody. It's result in someone signing a certificate with 'cause of death, not smoking related illness".

I should just ad I dashed this off in five minutes straight off and it's a bit rough. I just fancied adding a word or two.

I liked it Ed, think it will go down well. I don't think I'd do anything on the smoking ban when it comes in because all the comics I talk to, who smoke, have tons of stuff on it. But your stuff is very original, angry and surreal which is the best form of comedy I think.

Actually, after I pressed 'post' I suddenly thought that's going to be the easiest way of robbing a bank, soon.

"I got a Rothman. With the tip sawn off"