British Comedy Guide

Self Cooking Chicken

SELF COOKING CHICKEN by Mikey J

*EDIT* I've changed the beginning of this sketch to get faster into the funnies on the good advice of Badge. :)

INT. TV STUDIO. DAY.

INTERVIEWER:
Today's guest is Anne Vention who is tackling the problem of poor conditions endured by caged hens. Ann, tell me about the (LOOKS AT CARD) "self cooking chicken?"

ANN:
Basically, the product is a chicken egg, a mini incubator and materials for building a small chicken run. Of course, the installation instructions will look as if they've been drawn in crayon by a four-year-old child and there will be three screws missing. I have to do this to conform with British Standards.

INTERVIEWER:
Ah, I see. So caged hens will be a thing of the past, because all chickens will be reared at home in this way. Plus the bonus of free eggs will help reduce family food bills.

ANN:
That's right. Now, here's the best bit. The genes in the chicken have been modified so that, when it reaches maturity, it is programmed to pluck its own feathers and pop itself into the oven.

INTERVIEWER:
Well, you can't get any more free range than that. So when should we expect to find this miraculous product on supermarket shelves?

ANN:
Er… not quite yet. There have been… er… teething troubles.

INTERVIEWER:
Such as?

ANN:
Well, I'm having problems getting the chicken to actually cook itself.

INTERVIEWER:
Ah. What does the chicken do instead?

ANN:
It keeps popping out to get me fish and chips.

END.

You've got a bunch of good ideas but they're all a bit half finished.

My suggestion would be lose Anne Vention, and focus on the self cooking chicken. And develop that more as an idea.

We used Dawn French's DNA and it keeps it's self?

Reminds me of an idea of a chicken made to grow in a KFC-style bucket. Or was that reality, or a strange dream I had. I forget...

Quote: sootyj @ September 8 2008, 7:27 PM BST

You've got a bunch of good ideas but they're all a bit half finished.

My suggestion would be lose Anne Vention, and focus on the self cooking chicken. And develop that more as an idea.

We used Dawn French's DNA and it keeps it's self?

yeah, Ann Vention is a bit naff innit?
:$

Quote: Rob0 @ September 8 2008, 8:06 PM BST

Reminds me of an idea of a chicken made to grow in a KFC-style bucket. Or was that reality, or a strange dream I had. I forget...

sounds like it could be reality
:O

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