James I didn't see this when you first put it (I think that was during my three month holiday from the board) so it's all new to me. I think it's brilliant and most importantly broadcastable (minus the f**ks). Bad luck that the tide's turned against single camera, although with a bit of jigging you could get by with a studio set and two minutes of OB per episode.
The character of Barry is delicious. The peeks at the others are promising and Tom is convincingly wilting in the face of Barry. Nice to see a young person portrayed as most of them actually are instead of all-knowing cock-rockets.
I didn't like the ending. The 'hope that's the half with Sussudio on it' joke is fantastic and having Barry play the record at the end diminishes it in my view. Put in a new 'half' joke here. The goldfish stuff is also a bit weak and the syphilis joke - hearing old jokes in a script always make me think maybe some of the other jokes aren't original either...
But this is stonking. Not only would I like to read more - I'd like to see it made, and I would be very proud to have created it. Good work.
