Forbidden Pleasures

Hi. Here's one of my new sketches. Please let me know what you think. Cheers. Fred

INT DAY. INSIDE A SHOP WITH A SIGN SAYING ‘FORBIDDEN PLEASURES’ WHOSE LOGO IS A TONGUE LICKING A STRAWBERRY.

Customer:
Hi, I believe you are, for discerning customers -

Man behind counter:
Oh yes, you make a pig of yourself here.

Customer:
Oink oink! But I need an idea of what’s on offer and how much it all costs.

Man:
Right, well are you looking for the full -

Customer:
Well, not sure –

Man:
Ah, well you could go for a bit of, you know, French –

Customer:
No, that’s not really my thing –

Man:
Or she could gobble–

Customer:
No, I don’t think she… and it’s not my style.

Man:
(Mimics his voice in a shrill tone) Not your style?

Customer:
No, I’ll go for full on –

Man:
(Abruptly) Fine. So what position?

Customer:
Er, round the back, or –

Man:
Okaaaaaay. There is one who does it up the shi-

Customer:
Ta. Mind you, I’m not sure if I’d be happy –

Man:
God. Look, it’s 20 extra for anal and 10 more if she does you up the wrong ‘un with a strap on. Make your choice.

Beat

Customer:
So, Forbidden Pleasures isn’t an, erm eaterie?

Man:
No, mate, it’s a knockin’ shop.

Beat

Customer:
Oh. How much for a 3some with two Moldovans?

CUT

My kind of thing Fred. I loved it.

Thanks, Charley. I was holding back a bit!

Yeah thought this was good. All depends on a good and seamless delivery between the two though. Thought the final punchline was good.

I liked the "No mate it's a knockin shop" line lol pretty good good pace on it quite funny overall good good...I havent commented for ages I'm gettting rusty

I liked it very much but because it was all suggestive I thought you could replace "Anal" with something less obvious.

Quote: David Chapman @ June 11, 2007, 10:52 PM

I liked it very much but because it was all suggestive I thought you could replace "Anal" with something less obvious.

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Buming, pulling on the tea towel ring, docking at pooh bay, Pushing the stools in.

Quote: charley rance @ June 11, 2007, 11:26 PM

Buming, pulling on the tea towel ring, docking at pooh bay, Pushing the stools in.

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shut up you diiirrrtyy girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Good sketch mate.

Quote: Fred Peters @ June 11, 2007, 9:56 PM

Thanks, Charley. I was holding back a bit!

View original

#

lol lol

if you holding back i would love to see something where you have let yourself go

i liked this good work there may have been mistakes but i wasnt looking i was luaughing

just remeber to "let yourslef go"

Quote: Fred Peters @ June 11, 2007, 9:56 PM

Thanks, Charley. I was holding back a bit!

View original

Do you normally suffer prematurely?

Not in that way, Dave but I do have a kind of comedy Tourette's - when I'm writing I find it hard not to turn things really crude or surreal. Don't worry, I'm getting help!
P.S: Charley, what's 'buming'? Is it like bugery or is that a brighly coloured bird?

Dont get help Fred. There is a large percentage of peeps who lurrrrve crude, lewd & rude. Some despise it. But hey each to their own. xx

OK. I'll call Doctor Van Kokkenspunk and cancel my appointment.