Forget it Jake - it's Chinatown

EXT – A RESTAURANT-LINED STREET IN LONDON'S CHINATOWN

CLOSE-UP VIEW OF A COUPLE LOOKING TOWARDS A WINDOW

WOMAN:
This is the fifth one we've looked at. Time you made up your mind.

MAN:
I just want to choose the right place. It is a special occasion after all. How about this one?

WOMAN:
A bit cheap and tacky. What about this?

MAN:
Hmm. Doesn't look very authentic.

WOMAN:
The special then – that's got to be good. Everything's all in.

MAN:
But I might feel sick afterwards.

WOMAN:
You always do! Go on, it is your birthday!

MAN SMILES. PULL BACK AND REVEAL THEY ARE LOOKING AT A LIST OF "UPSTAIRS MODEL" OPTIONS IN A DOORWAY ADJACENT TO ACHINESE RESTAURANT. WOMAN KISSES MAN AND HANDS HIM A FEW £20 NOTES.

WOMAN:
Enjoy yourself!

MAN STARTS HEADING UP THE STAIRS.

MAN:
See you in an hour!

WOMAN:
(to self)
I'll give it ten minutes.

END

That's just wong.

Ooooh. Hmmm...

Maybe it would work better on the MSG forums?

Quote: Badge @ September 7 2008, 5:28 PM BST

Maybe it would work better on the MSG forums?

View original

It's good stuff.

Quote: Badge @ September 7 2008, 5:28 PM BST

Maybe it would work better on the MSG forums?

View original

It made me laugh and slightly aroused me too.

Rubbery Idea. Made me smile

Seemed a bit forced to me. I say this simply because it starts off with a shot of Chinatown and then goes to a close up shot of the couple. How are you supposed to know that the Chinatown shot is connected with the the close up shot? It could look a bit clunky when surrounded with other sketches.

Quote: Winterlight @ September 7 2008, 6:02 PM BST

Seemed a bit forced to me. I say this simply because it starts off with a shot of Chinatown and then goes to a close up shot of the couple. How are you supposed to know that the Chinatown shot is connected with the the close up shot? It could look a bit clunky when surrounded with other sketches.

View original

I assumed we could see the couple in the first shot, and that the second displayed Chinatown in the background. Possibly some music to set the scene, even. But mine's still just a subjective reading of the text.

Cheers all for the feedback.

Quote: Tommy Power @ September 7 2008, 6:06 PM BST

I assumed we could see the couple in the first shot, and that the second displayed Chinatown in the background. Possibly some music to set the scene, even. But mine's still just a subjective reading of the text.

View original

Yes, I hope there's enough in there for people to make their own interpretation like Tommy has. I'm not trying to direct it, and I only went as far as putting the close-up bit in cos it's a reveal gag and I need to conceal it. I'm sure there are lots of ways to shoot it without it appearing too forced. Whether it's funny or not is another subjective matter!