4 Little old Northern ladies sitting in a Tesco café
Lady 1
Women today they think they have it hard as wives. (Tuts)
In my day it was "Thou must obey" If my husband said jump I would knock myself out on the ceiling.
I used to have too scrub the floors with a wooden brush, look after the 12 kids & have his home cooked dinner on the table at the correct temperature, the minute he walked in the door or he would scream the house down.
Lady 2
You call that hard. You lucky bitch. I had to clean my house whilst in labour, which by the way took 45 days, Cook a 3 course dinner every night & if the sheets weren't ironed to his high standard he would punch my face clean in, with that very iron whilst kicking me repeatedly in the fanny with his shiny work boots.
Lady 3
Luxury marriage that.
I used to have to look after all my kids before they were even born & knit clothes for the whole family. We didn't have knitting needles, oh no, My husband was to tight to purchase them. I had to use my fingers & barb wire for wool. I worked a 68 hour day toiling in that house & if I dared be too tired for sex my husband would flip me about like a rag doll & force himself on me repeatedly. Sometimes up to 3 times a minute whilst wrapping my head in that very barb wire & screaming at me to "take it slut"
Lady 4
Pfffffff Doddle that was.
I used to slave away 104 hours a day using my tongue as a duster & my toenails as a scrubbing brush. I had to look after my kids all by myself before they were even conceived. I had to make all our clothes out of my very own sweat.
My husband was so tight we used to have to set fire to ourselves to keep warm. I had to cook a 10 course ala carte menu 6 times a day & if I dared give him the same meal twice in a century he would murder me to death whilst doing me up the wrong un & shouting "You love it you whore" until my ear drum burst & I died from a bleed in the brain.
